As a junior pharmacist, i think life is average. 

Life-Work balance? 

It's more to your own effort. If you really want to rest after a long day of work, just rest. If you feel like you need to see other people (non sick people), get your butt off and drive to the mall. 

The paycheque

Enough to live. It depends on your commitments. My advise;

- insurance, student loan, savings

Work

I work overtime for at least one weekend and one or two night shifts. We couldn't claim money, only time off. Off day requires 9 hours of working. It's easy to gather time off as juniors. 

What i would advise other people?

Find a hobby. It gives the motivation to keep going. I discovered Netflix and Chill. I literally watch netflix and relax. 

 A little life update after officially worked for a year.

We are 5 days away from 2023. How fast time flies.

All i see in my IG feed, full with friends getting married and engaged. Some of them welcome newborns. I can't believe that i'm already at this stage of life. 

I'm happy for them. Truly am.

Everyone is walking/running in their own timeline. I'm not ready for marriage. I don't feel stable with my current life. Honestly, i'm still figuring a lot of things before taking the next step.

When i see my friends actually getting married, I felt surreal. We used to be 16 now we're 24. 

Sometimes I do find myself stuck in the past. It would be nice to wake up one day at 15. Back then, I wake up at about 5.30 ish to bathe and prepare for school. I'll be in surau by Azan Subuh. After Subuh prayer, breakfast, then to school. The whole boarding school routine. 

I would love to see my old friends, talking to them now will sparks happiness to my younger self. Deep down, my younger self is dying for some check ups. I do talk to some of my close friends, mostly texting which is not similar to talking in person. I miss the moments. Sometimes, I miss the routines. I feel more 'sure' about my life. I have proper goals and I could see clearly what I need to do.

It's different as an adult. You need to have goals that improve your life. Carving your own future is scary. It takes a lot of courage to step into uncertainty. You can't just simply make a mistake and call it a day. It will definitely cost you something. I guess it's a nature of an overthinker (ME). 

In the end of the day, being with family means more than anything else. Spending off days with your parents. Picking up the cheques because now you can pay for their food. Driving your mom around. Listens more to their nagging. Text your siblings more often than before. 

Yes, the circle gets smaller. Your colleagues aren't as open as your friends. Not all of them like you as a person. They see you as another mate in the office. You need to adapt to different situations daily.  Realizing how small my circle is, I'm grateful that I still have a circle. I still have a few peeps that answer my text. Someone who still takes some time off their day to entertain my bullsh*ts. 

Above the existential crisis, I'm grateful H still keeps me company. He is willing to deal with this complex girl when he actually has a choice to choose a simpler person. I am someone tough to deal with, i admit. There are times when I have unrealistic expectations. (they say dream big, huh)

I'm putting it out there that, im grateful for everything despite feeling super emotional about my day-to-day life.