8/3/1998
I am hook on Heather by Conan Gray. I mean totally hooked! I can' stop listening and reminiscing.
I was born in 7/3/1998 and i found 2 boys who turned out to be born the next day.
The first guy was my first love.
The second guy was my ex before H.
Chinese loves the number 8 because for them, 8 is a lucky number while 7 is unlucky. Maybe it is true. The way i see it, 7 and 8 cannot be together. Both of the boys broke my heart pretty hard. It took me years to move on from both of them.
I wrote the story about my first love. You can see a post back in February 2019. I didn't mention much about my ex. Maybe this time I'm gonna share about him.
Honestly, he was a good person. I was his first girlfriend back then. We were in the same batch in school but different class. I took biology as my major while he took techno. We never had any conversation but I did remember I passed my addmath paper to him (2014) once. He was among the clever students who get good grades and top ten sometimes in our batch. I still didn't pay attention to him because I was waiting for someone (maybe next story).
One day, (2015) I realize we always got into the same bus to go back home. The next holiday I asked him if he needed a ticket back because i'm buying mine. He refused but he did get into the same bus. Since then, we did exchange numbers and text from time to time. We got closer.
I still remember one holiday, I told him I'm going back this weekend. He said he needed to stay at school for some tutoring. I was fine. I took the first bus to the station. Most juniors also were going back so the bus was almost full suddenly, he walked in. He gave eye contact which got me nervous. He stood near me that day. We as we reach the station, he managed to get a ticket with the same bus as mine. That day, I just knew he lives nearby my house.
He was there during my hard times where I didn't have friends supporting me. He was there to answer my calls while I cried. He was the first person who I could see some sparks of future. Someone who could probably get the hang of me being myself.
He never demands anything impossible. He was not talkative but sometimes his silence looks express his true feelings. How he looks when he was worried. How he would asked some of my friends about me.
As we were officially a couple, some said he looks more confident.
He would rotate the same clothes for night prep so sometimes I would intentionally wear the same colour as I predict he would wear. LOL
We would study together sometimes. He hated Chemistry so that's the only subject I'm better than him. He was good with technology thingy, one day im not sure what he did but he made my gaming accounts (POU and candy crush), gained tons of coins. I still used it up until now.
He was my first date. A date that I go with him without any friend accompany me.
He gave me hope. He gave me a glimpse of happiness that I had never felt with anyone else. I had hope.
As we completed school, the thing between us was well. We live nearby so going out was not hard. We stayed connected until.. we got the results. Our SPM result. Of course, he got better than mine.
We got into different foundation schools. The long distance relationship began...
The first few weeks were okay.
A week before the end of the same month...things suddenly became sour.
Without any proper explanation or reasons, he treated me like an option. He said hurtful things. The way he acted, he wanted things to end but he was toooooo coward to do it himself so he made me do it. He made me end us. Ended what we treasure for almost a year.
As soon as it ended, I cried at night for almost a month or so. Things were hard with study and now this relationship ended. I felt like my world became pitch black. I was happy with my friends while I kept most of my sorrow buried inside me. I cried at night when everyone sleeps. After almost 2 weeks, I felt stronger.
Suddenly he texted me saying something so nice and so unexpectedly. He broke me for the second time. I felt harder to the ground than before. I was hopeless.
I barely spook to any other guy besides my classmates. I didn't remember how to socialize with boys again because I was caught up in a future that did even exist. By that time, I thought I don't have to go through that phase again, getting-to-know phase. I thought I could tell my kids, mum and dad were highschool sweethearts. I thought he was the one. I thought we were enough. Both of us.
I was too young to realize how things could change in the blink of an eye. Even feelings. Even a person. I was fooled by myself and my hopes.
It took me a year and half to meet the next decent guy. But I changed..
I was always scared if H would be like the last guy.
I didn't put any high hopes in H. Even after almost 3 years with H, i still said, IF WE rather than only WE.
I put my guard up.
I looked up for any red flags while with H.
I should have left as soon as I knew his birthday. I should have known.
Idk for sure what God has for me but what i do know, anyone born in 8/3 is just going to hurt me emotionally for at least a year.
A person could change another person in any possible way. You would just end up being surprise.
