When the situation becomes unclear and when i become puzzle. I return to our first conversation.



Out great moments. I am sorry for deleting your text. I mean, well, i kept some but after sometime, you disappeared all sudden. I thought about moving on.

I believe in faith. I believe that what Allah plans is for the best.

I care about you. How much? Don't bother asking. Let it be a secret.

I was on cloud nine as you say hey. Seriously. But, it turns out, not quiet like what i was expecting. Never mind.

Honestly, i miss you. So much.

Remember the moments before I admit my feelings. Before Miss D.

Before you phone was taken away.

Remember? If you do remember, that is great!

Well, if you read this or come across, good.

What i want to say, is only between you and me if you want to talk about this. If. Only if.

#Maps #np

Assalamualaykum, Alhamdulillah.

I know that everyone has their own problems. About economy, relationship, family and studies. Whatever it is, its messing around your head. I know how annoying it is.

Well, they say you can't run from any problem. Its true. If you run away, it will appear back. To solve it, you have to face it. Be honest. Speak out. Solve it.

Take a minute or more to pray to Allah. I bet everyone has your own religion and believes so, take some time and pray for your next step. What is right. Have faith.

Human cannot create other human, only God has that kinda power, so, pray to your Creator. There is nothing to shame of.

Everyone has its own dark side, me too. My dark side is so dark until i think that is anyone knows about it, i am doom. That's why, i keep in as my dark side because i am not proud of it.

There are things you can be proud of, and show it to people. Like they say, be yourself. But sometime, for the sake of your own dignity and your family, you have to hide it. Keep it. Be brave to seal it.

All problems have its own solution. Because every lock has its own key.

It takes inspiration, moral supports and hardworking to solve such a problem. Nothing is easy if we don't work for it. Words are only words. Actions can be gestures and people can see the effect. So, which one works?

If you cry like hell, and mumble your problems, maybe at least you feel relieve and more calm. Then, you work it out, find the solution, work for it. The next thing you know, you are actually unlocking your problem with an invincible key. By that time, you're on cloud nine! You will find that all of your efforts paid off.

Saying is easy, but i hope to inspire. I can't say that i have the solution to your problem but i am pursuing you to find THE KEY. Get back to your feet. Wipe your tears. Tears can't solve it.

With the help of the Creator and some other aspect that i had stated, it is not impossible. You need to have patience. Time may be your enemy but as it is done, its done! So, work it out!

Well, there are so much to speak of. What i kept deep down that i don't understand about it myself. How complicated a simple life can be. When you are 16, you learn practically about teenage love. Because in ten years time, you might get married or already married. Whatever can happens, if you are still breathing in that ten years time.

I always think further up because i do something. Sometime, while i was talking, suddenly i shut my mouth because i thought that my next word might hurt or too sensitive. If they really want to know, i will tell them in a good way telling them how i actually do not want to offence them. I mean it.

Having this long distance relationship, looks hard. Now, we are seldom connecting with each other only make things worst. Do i question your loyalty? I do. How can't i because there is a new alphabet that does not makes sense... Your crush? Your ex crush? Or whatever it is. Well, don't mind me, its just NOTHING to me. I am cool. SO cool about it.

I am mad but, *sigh* i don't want you to know it because i know you are dealing with too much problems now. I don't want to be one of your problem. And i just, it is just a hunch in me saying that you need space. Okay.

Sometime i think, i am considering too much.

My sister had a long distance relationship which works for her because that guy never make her jealous and he never felt jealous about my sister even she told him that she had admires.

Me? I am the one feeling too jealous about you. When you never felt jealous of me.

Oh whatever.

Then i see you being hurt by someone else. People know about you and someone else. I see you feeling jealous about someone else.

Am i blind or i misread things. Well, i don't know and i don't have anything to say about it.

Maybe, things did not work for us. Because we are actually nothing. Right?

Do what you think is right.

You know, i am getting used of being betray or broken so when i see what had happen to you i felt sorry then i see about that new alphabet, i am heartless. Seriously.

At first, i was mad because i care. I am puzzle about what i just knew. Then something whisper to me, you already expect something bad right, maybe this is it. Maybe.

So i am heartless. I am getting used to it.

Have you ever wonder how i will feel if i knew about any of it? I am sorry that you had been dealing with so much stuffs lately, alone. It is not because i don't want to be there but, we are just far away. I know you have best friends, your buddies even i don't know them but at least i know you have someone.

I had been dealing so much too, maybe not the same things that you had been through but i know that telling you any of it will only makes you become worried. If you care.

If you are thinking about the same thing, means telling me any of it will only makes me concern them why that i know is not your problem but more about someone else.

Well, i am sorry for being so far away. If you think having scandal or whatever, help you to feel less alone or whatever, then go on. I am not against you. You have your own rights to do what you want. But just for you to know, things will be different. You don't have to worry about me any more. Seriously. I am non of your concern.

We don't quarrel but we offend have misunderstands. And i know that i am the one who is having all of the misunderstanding. So for being someone like this. If being myself burden you, then just walk away and it will never burden you again.

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

Well, its been awhile since anything from me. About one month right?


But i learned a lot. Mostly about friendship. Which leads to trust.

After the holiday, Z and i already getting back as whatever we used to but not as close as we used to. Well,, a lot had happen. Just leave it that way.

Then, i am being drift away from my own best friend. We do not quarrel or anything but, we are kept distance because of we are from different classes and my business. I felt regret for not including here in my routine because i was too busy but now i can see that she is used to it. She understand about how busy i am and now i am trying to understand that she is not close with me as we used to.

Some conflicts happen when you are given the title as a leader of a group. Well, that is what i had to face last week. I am the leader for handling food and beverages for Raya School Celebration. Some of them were not satisfied with their duty. But i managed to take control of it but only Allah understand the flame that burns in my heart! Since that, i am not that friendly with them as i used to. I am can forgive easily but not easily forget.

We had a week of examination. I tried to perform the best. It was, ok....

Before that, i was in Kelantan for FRSIS for about 4 days.

And lately, most students were infected by conjunctivitis . And i was the latest victim. Now i am at home. My eyes are red!

Well, for now, that is my updates. Will update more.

Assalamualaykum, Alhamdulillah

Well, things had been a lot harder since the past few weeks. Now, Allah send me a sickness. But i know that what Allah planned for me is the best so, Inshaa Allah i will be well soon.

Alhamdulillah, thousand of Alhamdulillah. Praise Allah! Allahuakhbar! Gava got their victory in war and politic. The shout outs are everywhere!

In the same time we feel relief and grateful, never forget about increasing your dhua'.

And, the victory of Gaza does not mean you can stop boycott Israel products.

Jewish are known for being genius, that what Allah already warned us in the holy Quran. So, we must be careful. Maybe they will strike but in other way that no one saw it coming.



But still, alhamdulillah. At least now they can rest from all the bombing and gun shots.

Let's pray that Israel will never go against their promises and let Gaza peace.

Be safe dearest brothers and sisters. Allah is always there.

Assalamualaykum, Alhamdulillah.

So, its over. No more Z. Just me. Nothing much to say. Thanks for the people that follow my stories. Today had been such a hell of a day.

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

In a relationship, we have dramas and things always rolls back, either getting back or getting back. I know it is the same thing but, that is always the truth. After the dramas, (sadness, jealousy, whatever) you will find that it is actually deadly hard to let go.

We have heart and soul. I am also a girl. A teenager girl. So, i know how that feels. How suck to be broken. How usual it is to be jealous. But you just can't change it.

When he notice it, you pray that he will try to make it out. I mean, he will try to make things right besides saying sorry all along. Yeah, girls are complicated. We are demanding. That is just the truth. A fact that boys must live with. Boys have two choice, pick the real or fake. Your choice.

They like to ask, why we must care so much or bla bla bla. Cut to the chase. When we care, we care A LOT. If you think you are with a piece of crap, then walk away. Try to find someone better.

If a girl is a crap. She is
:never feel jealous
:never care
:too bossy to control you
:the best actress
:fake
:always want you to cut your friends for her
:the one that confess and leaf you

Well, i can't list more than that cause i have no idea.

I am learning to be honest with every action i take and i will talk the truth.

I am sick of all the dramas. I just wanna be like how i used to be, heartless. And once someone leave me hanging, i put them the last thing to remember.

I want honesty. If you are mad, tell me. If you have problems, tell me. If you wanna leave me, just tell me. I have all the time for your words but, you just never did. How can i trust you?

I used to have this motto of my life. I will fight for someone who fight for me.

Remember when i knew the truth. Then i stop entertain you. Yet you never give up on trying to be back to what we used to have. And now, i am fighting for you but, i don't see your respond or maybe i don't realize.

I feel like, you don't care about me like how you used to do. I don't know the truth. Maybe you care but you don't show it. Well, there are just too much maybe's. And i am sick or each and every maybe's.

You don't have to be with me every time but you must be there when i needed you most.

YOu don't have to tell everyone i am special because if you tell me, even just for once that i am special, between you and me, that is enough to keep me our from jealousy and all the doubts.

I don't see you fighting for me anymore. I think i am not worth the fight anymore. You got me and now you are leaving me hanging. You never care to share cause, i know you keep a lot to yourself lately.

I know i don't have the rights to tell you what to do or care about who you can or cannot be close with, but if you at least tell me about them. Oh, who give a damn right? Well, i do.

Do i have to tell you, like every time that i care about you and how much i do? But you never say it, even once. Oh, wait you did. When was it? Months ago? I think so.

I reconsider so much for you. So much. Being so nice. I did not fake out. If i was jealous, i told you, right? If i was mad, i make you notice it. But do you care to make it right? You just say it but you never did.

If it is true that what we have is something special or maybe at least, is something, why are you acting like ...... (you want the honest word, here it is) shit!

I know i am mad, why i am mad, because i care. I care about you so much.

If what i am doing right now is what you don't want, you want me out from you life or you want me to fight for you?

I just need to know. You just need to say it. Please.

I don't need your pity, just tell me the truth. If all this while, what we have is just a minor friendship and nothing special. Tell me. I can act like we are minor friendship.

I just need the truth. And what happens next, if base on your truth.

Maybe you can lie to me but you can't lie to yourself nor Allah. So, cut to the chase and tell the truth. I hope i am not asking you too much.