Tuesday, March 31, 2020

MAX VERSTAPPEN (FAN'S HIGHLIGHT)

7:37 AM 0 Comments

Today im going to talk about THE Max Vertappen. Most of the information i got from wikipedia (obviously) and YouTube ( by searching Max Verstappen).

Firstly, Max is available in instagram, twitter, youtube channel (not really active) and facebook (my gen dont really use one). You can just type his name and his offical account will appear.

Some background story. Max was born in 30 September 1997 so now (31 Mac 2020) he is 21 and 6months, but i consider him as 22 already. His dad is dutch while his mom is belgian and he decided to take his 'dutch' side for his super license. (A license you need to acquire in order to drive f1 car) He currently lives in Monaco and in relationship. I dont want to mention her name because maybe someone in 2/3 years coming probably see he is single or married to other woman, i dont know. Right now, he is in relationship and based on some googling, they had been together since 2017. Oh, his dad, Jos Verstappen was also a f1 driver back in the days.

Max Verstappen began his career in f1 starting in 2015. He was recruited since 2014 at age of 16 years old. Based on a video in Youtube, he had performed stunningly in FIA Europe which caught big companies attention. He was even offered to join alpha romeo, the jr team for Mercedes but he declined and joined Torro Rossa, STR (Scuderia Torro Rosso) which is the jr team for Red Bull. From the same video, it mentioned that his dad last team (before retired) was Torro Rosso but back then they used other name (Minardi F1 Team). The thing is, these companies would change names due to some circumstances or whenever they want. For 2020, Torro Rosso used other name which is Alpha Tauri or Scuderia Alpha Tauri. Based on my understanding ( i might be wrong), when they used Ferrari's engine, thats why the word scuderia exist (Ferrari's senior team is called Scuderia) and the word Alpha Tauri is actually a clothing brand established by Red Bull.

I know, that's a lot to process. The thing is, if you know the companies are already good enough because this name issues will go on and on. Trust me. Let me give another example, Torro Rosso Renault because they used Renault's engine. We had Mclarren Mercedes which now, both companies had split so individual company. I dont know how it actually works but it involve bidding and investment things.

Continue, Max was the youngest F1 driver as he debut at age of 17. In January 2015, the FIA launched a new super licence system for Formula One, raising the age limit to 18 from the 2016 season onwards. So, as long as the regulation stays, Max will stay as the youngest F1 driver. He was so lucky as he got his super license before the implementation of the new regulation. By that time, Carlos Saintz was announced as his teammate.

I'll skip his achievements before as f1 driver. You can read it from Wikipedia. The list is long so im not gonna copy paste that.

He debut in 2015 in Torro Rosso, the junior team and he performed well but nothing extraordinary. He had done some mistakes and drove dangerously during his first season. He was gaining experience. I have no comments on that. Red Bull is kinda full with scandals. I mean, they had some big issues going on. Im not saying they are the only company doing it, so far they are the one I SAW doing it frequently. Max got his sear in TR because Daniil Kvyat got promoted into Aston Martin RB (the senior team) to replace Sebastian Vettel. Yeah, Seb also started his career in Red Bull and won 4 world title during his time in Red Bull. In 2016, after 4 races, Daniil got demoted into Torro Rosso and Max got his seat in the senior team! He won the 2016 Spanish Grand Prix in his debut race for Red Bull Racing at the age of 18, becoming the youngest-ever winner of a Grand Prix and the first racing under the Dutch flag. He beats Seb as the youngest to even won a GP. The rest of the race he would finished mostly top 5 and had more podiums (top 3).

"2017 the Malaysian Grand Prix onward, Verstappen enjoyed a surge of success. He won his second Formula One race at the 2017 Malaysian Grand Prix, one day after his 20th birthday, passing Lewis Hamilton for the lead in the early stages of the race. He finished second in the following race in Japan. He then finished third at the United States Grand Prix, but was classified fourth after his final lap overtake on Kimi Räikkönen was deemed illegal. He then won his third Formula One race (and second in 2017) at the Mexican Grand Prix, after passing Sebastian Vettel on the opening lap and leading until the end of the race."- Wikipedia

It mentioned illegal so Max got penalty, thats why he was pushed to 4th. For a 19 year old to achieve 3 winning races and got podiums was extraordinary. When i was 19, im not sure what degree I wanted to do and which uni i could apply for. My biggest achievement was not giving up my life ( in study POV). Even my dad advised me to wait next year which was age 20 to get into the next batch.

Talking about education, so far there is not valid information on Max's education background. In my opinion, Jos Verstappen said Max only focus on races and his life evolved around racing i think his education background MIGHT be low key. I dont mind that. Like Jackie Chan, he didnt performed well in studying but he do best in martial arts. He started from a stunt man till the lead roles up in this age. Im not saying it is not important but if your passion + result > education so go for it.

Jos was and still, very supportive about Max's racing career from karting till joining f1.

What amazes me, usually drivers who got into f1 would usually follow the racing flow. Like start as a kid in karting and then f4, f3, f2 or any FIA racing (there are various of racing before f1). Max, he got into FIA europe and scored himself a seat in f1 immediately. He drove f1 car at age of 15/16 as test driver (usually that is how they got their super licence and preparing them for f1).

He got 8 first.

-In 2015, he became the youngest driver to compete in Formula 1 at the 2015 Australian Grand Prix for Scuderia Toro Rosso.

-He is also the youngest driver to lead a lap during a Formula One Grand Prix

-youngest driver to set the fastest lap during a Formula One Grand Prix

-youngest driver to score points, youngest driver to secure a podium

-youngest Formula One Grand Prix winner in history

-youngest multiple Grand Prix winner

-youngest to win the same Grand Prix multiple times

-youngest to win the same Grand Prix in successive years.

-On 3 August 2019, he became the first ever Dutch F1 driver to take pole position, for the Hungarian Grand Prix, while also setting a new lap record on the Hungaroring and becoming the 100th polesitter in the sport's history.

Here is his career summary


Now tell me, how can this NOT excites me from actually digging about this guy?!

Honestly, he is not the most attractive f1 driver but his achievement at this age, it wows me.

My prediction about Max, i think someday like Daniel Ricarrdo, he will join other team but not around now. Or maybe, he will stay with Red Bull until he retires. We just never know right. I mean look at Lewis Hamilton, he stays with Mercedes from debut up till now.

The latest update i have right now, he had extended his contract with Red Bull til 2023.

Thankss for reading till the end!

Here is the wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Verstappen

Monday, March 30, 2020

Chapter 6: Max's POV final part

7:01 AM 0 Comments

That night, i hanged out in Serene's room. She was packing most of her stuff because her flight will be the first one tomorrow. She said it is better to be gone sooner than Miles. She obviously trying to avoid Miles.

"Can i ask you about the kiss earlier...?"

'What about it? *avoiding eye contact*'

"Are we officially a thing now?"

'Hurm....can you ask me properly?'

"Serene Sergio, will you be my girlfriend?"

'That sounds better! YES! Not so hard right~'

*we smile to each other and i lean for another kiss, we kissed.*

Then she pushed me away saying im a distraction! That is why im here. *laughs* I left her room because she needed some rest before another 11 hours flight back.

- A few months before the final race in Abu dhabi-

Miles was right about one thing, Serene is very busy! She takes her job as her priority and I don't blame her. I totally understand her situation and im not here to bargain on her time, im here to support her in everything she do. I stay at outside from our factory area. They did convinced me to stay here as you could just walked to the office but I dont feel comfortable. I need my own space here. I rent a studio apartment not far from this area. That was also how we managed to make our relationship more private.

We would wear disguises when we go out on dates. Sometime only one of us, sometime both of us, just for fun!

Our first undercover date was a movie night! The special thing about this date, we almost got busted because Serene's manager was also in the same showtime with her husband. Luckily I went straight to the toilet as the movie ended. She texted me to stay in the toilet for about 10 minutes. Later we ordered in some pizza because we didnt feel safe to get dinner in the public. That was also the first time she stayed for the night.

We barely meet around the factory as she work in another department and i usually came in for final check of the car and sometime i didn't came back as the races were back to back.

Serene tagged a long one or two races before the final race but unfortunately we couldnt spend anytime together alone. We had some coffee and dinner together with Alex during those time to keep it clean. Serene insisted to keep low profile because she dont want this relationship to cause her job. Honestly, i hurts my feelings sometime because she would ignore me even when she walked passed me.

One day, after i got back from my qualifying races. I saw some flowers and chocolates in my caravan with a note.

" Dear mio amore,

I know you must felt small as i couldnt even waved at you as you saw me even from a distance. It hurts me too. One day it will get better :)- Yours, S"

I felt like im the girl in this relationship. LOL

I got back to my hotel that day, I saw Serene waiting in front of my door. She's wearing a disguise and a wig ( a blond short hair). It took me awhile to recognize her. She's good.

'Hey!! *hug* How was the race?'

"It was okay. Is it fine you're here?"

'Totally! Im off this evening and im spending it it you! If you dont mind..'

"Of course NOT! Come in before anyone else saw you."

She came in and took off her wig.

'This wig is soo hot! My scalp is sweating.'

*laughs*

Suddenly someone knocks! Serene immediately ran off and hide behind the curtains. I looked through the door hole, it was my PA.

'Hey, what's up?'- Max

'I heard like you have company.'

'Nope, i was on the phone just now. Anything urgent? I need a rest.'

'Im sooo sorry. You want me to get you any dinner? I wanted to tell you we had to changed the fans meet up tomorrow to noon not morning.'

'Im fine, ill order room service later. Okayy noted! Thanks!'

*She left and before the door was fully closed, Serene came out from her hiding place. Suddenly my PA push the door open to tell me something else

'Hey Max, i thought ..... eh...?'

*They made eye contact. I immediately close the door and locked in behind her.*

'Sasha, please you can't tell anyone about who she is.'

*Sasha laughs* OMG Max! I know i was not crazy. I saw someone came into your room just now. It's okay. This is not the first in my experience. Your secret safe with me. So, is this an artist or a model?'

"Do I look like one?" - Serene

'She's with the team. She works with the analyzer this weekend.'- Max

"Ohhh, that dont usually happen but okay, ill go now."

Thats how my PA found out about my mystery girl.

- Abu DHabi GP-

I got second! The next best thing was, Serene asked me out on public being myself! That is a big step.

(The date.)

I could see she must be pulling some strings to get this kind of place. Eventho im out in the public like this, Serene still managed to make it very private. Im glad i met her :) She looks gorgeous with simple make up and red dress. This is the first time i see her wearing a heels. It surely compliment her dress.

"I love it! I LOVE YOU TOO" * I Looked away and i know im blushing!

'I love you too too!':))

Im so relief because she feels the same way. Now, we need to work it! Overall of this journey had been like a fairy tale.

Remember 4 years ago I was waiting for her in Monaco now she is right in front of me smiling.

No one's love story is perfect but someday you just realize perfect is not what you want, you just want someone who accept you for yourself and willing to support you no matter what. We could be totally opposite but managed to compliment each other's flaws.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

Chapter 6: Max's POV (part 1)

8:16 AM 0 Comments

I believe in faith and destiny. Nothing happens in coincidence.

It all started when i was a kid. My dad was a f1 driver back in the days. We were not friendly with Ferrari teams to be frankly. He used to test drive for most of the teams except Ferrari and William. I would come to his races whenever my mum could bring me. I was very shy to play around because i dont really know English. I understand but im not a fluent speaker. Most of the kids there would hang out and play together while i would stare from a distance. One day, this girl, she was taller than me and spoke fluent English. I could tell her father must be some sort of engineer because her clothes has some grease on it. You see, driver's children always appear clean and usually will wear some sort of the team's cap. They have a special pass to watch the race. This girl, she looked like she just came out from a car work shop or something. She said, hey, you wanna play? I said yes.

We played with other kids. Those kids asked my name and talked proudly about their dad. I would love to do so but i didnt know how to say it. It was pretty easy for the others to realize that my english was not good. I mean, kids were mean back then. Instead, she backed me up. She spoke some other language that the others didnt understand which now i know its Italian and she said its amazing to speak words people dont understand so they would never know you cursed them! I thought she was cool. So the kids asked me cursing words in my language, dutch. That was how we met. Serene and me.

I didnt realize who she was until we started to talk about each other. Like i said, there is no such thing as coincidence.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Monaco 2015

I started my career as a f1 driver for torro rosso Red Bull team. I was among the young driver there. In Monaco, I arrived at the circuit kinda early. We had our garage besides ferrari team this time. I heard they were testing the engine and discussing about something mostly in Italian. Suddenly, i heard a girl's voice speaking aggressively towards someone,

"Im not trespassing! My dad is the engineer for ferrari team."
'Miss, we need to see some pass.'
"scemo... (silly), let me call my dad."

Mio amore! Im so sorry. Let her in! She's with me.

"I told you."

She sound pretty mad about what happened.

I thought it was hilarious because they were being very loud in the morning.

Suddenly i heard someone called out a name that sound sooo familiar,
'SERENE COME HERE! I need your help with these things.'

Serene?

*FLASH BACK

Hey, wanna play? *Serene

Yes!* Max

Im serene, you?

Max!

Come, let's go!! *Serene

*holy shit is this the same Serene?!

------------------------------------------------------------------

I know this would sound stupid but i kinda followed her to the coffee shop. I had finished my qualifying, as i was walked out from my caravan, i saw her walking passed towards the exit. I wasted to rush and greet her in person, suddenly my friends came and asked if we could go out and get something. I had to agree with them. I thought to myself, maybe next time Serene.

As we were walking around the city, one of use actually got excited as she saw starbucks because she said it was impossible to find one in Aussie. We went along, as we entered the place,

"YES!" Serene stood up and the almost everyone laughs. I got love struck! Not to sound cozy but this is a sign!

I saw her rushed out from the shop and left her notebook. A book filled with awesome drawings and a pen. It's a red bull merchandise pen! I looked up, she's wearing a reb bull cap! Although he dad work with ferrari, SHE'S A RED BULL FAN! I chased her and gave her book back. I saw her face, such red tomato. SO cute! She just ran away. I did left a note in her book. I hope she sees it.

I got back to the hotel im staying after a brief meeting with the team for the racing tomorrow. I saw Serene AGAIN! This time she was chasing the elevator. I heard her curses on the man who didnt wait for her.

'Can this day be so much worst...'

"I dont think so, the day is about to end."

She looked at me like she saw a ghost. I almost cracked a smile.

"Aren't you the girl i saw at the coffee shop?"

'Yeah... oh.. im soo sorry. Thanks for giving me my notebook' *her face getting more red than before

"Are you okay? Your face seems fluster."

'Im fine :)'

As she left, i thought to myself, yupe she definitely dont remembers me.

Since that year, every race in Monaco i would always try my luck to meet her at the starbucks. I would come out to the same starbucks just to see if she was going to be there. It sounded like a hopeless romance but i like it in that way.

--------------------------------------------------------

Fast forward to 2019.

I heard today is the day a new intern will be introduced to the team. She was the first student red bull sponsored for aerospace engineer. I came to see the girl. As i looked passed the crowd, my jaw dropped! Isn't that SERENE?! My heart skips a beat. This was another sign!!

Drivers dont really work with intern without any particular reasons especially if they are training to be the engineer. I need to find an excuse to make it happen. I decided to call for a meeting about the data that they collected during test drive. I suggest that it will be a good expose to the intern. I was surprised they agreed to my suggestions probably because we need to improve our car better than the last race. I was excited for the meeting!

Then i saw Serene crying behind the building, dammit. The reason i walked out there it was because i thought some employees that sneak out for a cigarette last week. I tried to calm her down but im not sure if it works as she literally took off as she saw me. As she looked up and SAW ME.

During the meeting, of course i looked at her constantly. This meeting was for her! She needs to know about handling this stuff and be in the same room with me as frequent as it could happen. Sound chilly but its true. LOL

I saw her that night at the coffee shop. She looked calm and cool. Yes, cool! She declined my offer to grab some drink and i think, i should leave her alone that night after what i did at the meeting. I dont want her to think like im some sort of pervert following her around.

I wish i stayed because i really want to get to know her in person...

Silverstone

I took a look at the list of employee's phone number and their names. That was how i got her text. Then i faked text someone who's name below her name to make it seems like i had the wrong number. Am i making any sense here? I dont think so. I could have any girl I want but here i am, chasing a person who are not chasing me! I looked desperate and some part of me admitted that i am pretty desperate to get her to notice me! I just want her to know that i am still just another guy on the street. Without f1 and red bull, i am just an ordinary guy...

She was a bit surprised i texted her. She told me she is going out to the nearest town and look around. I was a bit nervous so *laughs i followed her from a distance. I saw her sitting alone and smiling around. Im not sure why but, she did. I walked and gave her a heart attack. LOL

What we had there meant a lot to me. I cant stop thinking about her.

Dont get me wrong here. I was not drunk actually. I skipped the party but i needed to look cool. I wanted her to see me cool but it turned out to be such a disaster.. I really wanted her to stay. Its not sex. Its not anything in that way. I wished i had told her, please stay. Lets talk till dawn. Lets get to know each other. Lets just be in the moment. I just.....*sigh I just wanted her to stay...

- The week i left her alone -

I was thinking about Serene a lot. It almost messed up my race. She was not invited to the next race so i didnt have any excuse to talk to her. I wanted to make up any excuse to do so but, i didnt want to risk it.

As a f1 driver, each race is a risk for life. I took those risks and I barely think twice about it. But with Serene, the risk is much higher. In races, you won some, you loose some but there will always the next race, the next season but with a girl who i like a lot, you dont simply came across that everyday. I dont see my life like that. I dont see a girl that i have feelings for like any other girls. That is why anything involve Serene is always a higher stake for me. *sigh

I had been trying to text her but i left it in draft or delete it. I never send any.

- The Hungarion GP -

I got second place but it was kinda heart breaking because Lewis got me just by bit. The press was saying that Mercedes had better strategic. I just knew i could have win it but, i ended up second. It was true I was not in a good mood. Serene was with the team. I think i saw her trying to consult me but i walked away. It was a mistake but i was not in my proper head. I could have flipped on her. That will be far more worst. Urgh...

I tried to hang out with her but she was out with a friend. I tried to talk about Silverstone but it didnt go out well. I never thought it was Miles Leclec her 'childhood' friend. Seriously she remembered that guy but not me?! I tried to ask for second chance but she pushed me hard. Then later that night i saw she kissed Miles, it blew me away. My anger got the best of me. I literally burst it on her.

She broke my heart and i broke hers. At least she got someone to turn on.

I asked Alex to go out for a drink.

My drunk ass told Alex everything about Serene... I told him about how i knew Serene and my feelings for her.

I still remembered him laughing because i actually cried while talking to him. I dont usually do that. It just happened.

We heard the other drivers were at the same bar. We talked about Miles because I was curious what so 'special' about him. You see, even his teammate told us he was quite a casanova. They were surprised as i told them he just settle himself a girl... I could have save Serene from the trap but i was BUSY BEING SUCH A COWARD!

Maybe it is true, coincidences happened and we need to stop thinking too much about it. Especially taking each one of it as a SIGN

I regret it but i deserve a chance to be with her. It was unfair how she sees Miles's effort but not mine! I tried! I knew it was not enough but it was an effort...

- Summer break -

I went to NYC with my sister. She wanted me to join her going out with some of her friends. I already said NO like tons of time but she insisted and she brought up about how i was always away from home and never spend time with her. SO i tagged along as she insisted. I never knew she actually set me up with one of her friend. omg... That particular photo the paparazzi got and spread those false rumors.. *sigh

A week later i got a text from Alex saying Serene knew about the photo and she was pissed off. I couldnt believe it. She had Miles on that time. Why would she be pissed? As i got back, she avoided me at any cost. I tried to act like i dont care too. We had our own life.


- Suzuka -

I heard Serene took a few days off. I didnt imagine she actually came to see Miles on the track.

As i finished up on the circuit, i got back to the hotel. Suddenly

[Miles: Did you see Serene?]

[Max: Why would I? She is not here on this race.]

[Miles: I messed up.. *miles told me what happened* Can you please look around for her too, just in case if she came to the RB team. She came alone.]

[Max: I'll try to look around.]

I texted Alex to help me out too because both of us knew its dangerous for Serene to roam around the city alone. She could be anywhere in this hour..

We rushed out and looked around the area Miles was staying. It was a few blocks from ours. Miles was out too looking. We just got lucky we saw Serene in her black lather jacket, the one i saw in Monaco in 2015.. She was walking like she was drunk. We screamed her name but she didnt hear us. I ran to her and immediately caught her from falling. She was sobbing and all her mascara melted by her tears. She was dreadful. I told Miles we found her and she will be sleeping in my room while i sleep in Alex's.

The next morning, I woke up early and see how shes doing. I sat there about 2 hours staring at her. She looked amazing despite those black patches on her face. I know its the mascara and eyeliner. She woke up and she looked down first, she exhaled loud! I think she was relief that nothing bad happened at her. Then she looked left and saw me.

"Are you okay?"

Saturday, March 28, 2020

Chapter 5: Chequered flag

10:02 AM 0 Comments

Note from author: We will be doing an episode on Max's side of story on the next episode! Im just putting out here early so that you wouldn't be confusing if suddenly the next episode intro looks a bit different :)

I saw Max sitting right next to he bed.

Are you feeling any better?

What happened last night? Did we.. er

No we didnt. Miles called me last night, he told me everything and he asked me if I could look out for you. He said, maybe you would be around red bull team's places just in case. So i when out looking for you. Im glad we, Alex and I found you not far from the hotel (the one Mile's staying).

SO he didnt went out looking for me?

I dont what to comment on that. We found you walking swiftly like you were drunk or something and ...... suddenly you collapse. I managed to catch you before your head hit the ground.

*speechless and still kinda confuse

Thanks Max and please tell Alex thanks for me. I think im going to head out to the place i should be staying.

Here. *hand a pass for red bull team If you dont feel like coming to the race is okay but i managed to get an extra pass if you ever want to come. Hey listen, before you go, i think you should at least talk to Miles.

Why?

Im no expert in relationship but i think people should at least get some sort of closure.

*i get up from the bed. Take all my things and head out.

I took a taxi to the hotel i should be staying. I know Miles will not be around because he needed to prepare for practice. I dont plan on going out today. I just grabbed anything in 7eleven nearby this hotel and locked myself in the room. I know im still angry but Max was right. I needed a closure and i might as well get some tonight. I text Miles saying, I will meet him at his room ( i dont want him to know my room) and we need to talk about it. I told him, i need at least an explanation before we end things with us.

I know it will break my grandma's heart if she knew about it. I hate to say it, maybe my dad was right too. WHY IS EVERYONE SEEMS TO KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE BETTER THAN I DO???

---------------------

At night....Meeting Miles

*Both of us just sat there looking at each other

'Let me stay first, why? Is it because i was too busy? It is because i was not pretty enough? Is it the sex? It is because of the distance?'

No, maybe some of it. Yes the distance sucks! Yes you were busier than I imagined. But that was not why i did what i did.... It was supposed to be just a fling... It was supposed to be nothing big...... I messed up because of my desire and ......... loneliness. You dont deserve me.

'I cant trust you anymore or any other guy. You see, things like this messed up a person like me badly... FYI, you are not the first one who cheated on me. I got cheated on 3 relationship including this one.. I never cheated before but at least you felt sorry for me. At least, you know i dont deserve you. Before this they said, i was too boring because I READ TOO MUCH. The last one said, i was not clingy, I ALWAYS NEED MY OWN SPACE. Now, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FLING! Im angry but i know screaming wouldnt change what happened yesterday. I know, nothing i do could prevent yesterday except if i told you i was coming... Is there anyone besides that woman?'

No, i promise you im not lying.

'I cant change you but i can say this, I can never be with you anymore. I might end up alone my whole life but it will be much much better. I wish you the best for your career and please, treat anyone else after me, better.' *i walked out and go straight to my room.

I dont have the strength to talk to him without tearing up. I dont want him to see me crying because it shows how weak i am. I needed to vent out somehow but not in his room. I just need to be alone.

beep*

[Max: Are you okay?]
[Max: Have you eaten?]
[Max: If you need someone, i can come.]
[Max: Can you at least let me know that you are somewhere safe. Or im coming to your room.]

[Im fine. Im in my room. Just focus on your qualifying tomorrow.]

[Max: I'll wait for you at the pit tomorrow after we finish qualifying.]

I know he is trying to be nice. I just cant have it right now....

I had been cheated before and each one of it hurts. What hurts me the most, both of them who cheated on me actually got into a better relationship after me and i heard the first one is married and the second one is engaged. It makes me feel like im the problem... You dont just messed up with someone's life and go on to live a better one. You should suffer too! Am i making people better but why i dont get someone better???

I need a drink.

-------------------------------------------------

I when out and just googled any bar nearby. I drink, take shots and dance like i own the dance floor! No matter how shitty i dance, i need it. I deserve it. I dont deserve to be locked up and crying my eye balls out for a man who just cheated on me. I should go out and celebrate that IM FUCKING SINGLE AGAIN! I could made out with who ever i want. I could hook up with whoever i want! This is a bar, maybe ill meet a decent man here! I dont think so but WHAT DO I HAVE TO LOOSE.

I didnt think much about that night. It was more of letting my guard down and be as wild as i could even not as wild as anyone think of. I had a few beer, a few shots then i dance. I felt like i needed to vomit so i go to the ladies room. Puke as much as it goes. Then i repeat the first thing. This time someone actually bought me drink and drink with me. I guess i was pretty drunk so i dont remember his face. He dragged me out from the bar, i tried to push him but he holds me so tight! I cant escape! He started groping me, I KNOW I NEED TO ESCAPE BEFORE HE DO SOMETHING ELSE! I focus all my strength on my leg and find the right angle to kick his balls! I bite his whatever (not sure which part of his body, maybe his neck) and he let go of me and i IMMEDIATELY KICK HIS BALLS!

I ran as fast as i can! I just ran my heart out until i feel safe enough to look back. Im not really sure where i am so i called Max.

'Max, im sorry to disturb you but i need your help. Can you picked me up... im scared. Im not sure where i am so i'll share my location. Can i sleep with you, i mean anywhere in your room.... I just dont feel safe alone....'

'I'll be there. Just dont go anywhere.'

'Be fast okay. Im scared....'

-----------------------------------------

Max arrived in 20 minutes. I kept quiet for the whole journey. Max gave me his room and he went out to Alex's room to sleep. I felt so ashamed of myself...

The next morning, I left as soon as dawn. I texted Max saying im sorry and i will be there when he finish his qualifying race.

I arrived in my room and packed my things. I decided to take the earliest flight back home tomorrow. Maybe.

I spent the rest of the day walking around the city. I was not 100% sober but good enough to walk. Probably i just needed to get out there and see the world. Interact with humans who finds me fascinating because i looked white but i understand Japanese. You know what i mean. I watched too much anime. I understand most of the conversation but i cant talked back 100% Need some polishing.


I waited for Max in the red bull garage. The drivers usually will have some interview after racing so you cant meet them immediately.

[Max: im done. Meet me at my caravan.]

[Okay.]

In the caravan,

'Im sorry for last night. Ill apologies to Alex after this.'

It's fine. The reason i asked to meet you, I need you to know something. I like you. I cant stop thinking about you. When i knew you were with Miles, i was so pissed off because i was just a few second away from saying I want YOU! i NEEDED YOU.

'Wait, i heard you were with someone else in NY.'

No, its not true... I was with my sister and we met her friends there. I looked like i was alone with the girl in the photo it was because we were waiting for the others to get out from a shop. I guess, she have a crush on me so they let her alone with me. She actually confessed but i dont want to be with someone as young and my sister. Kinda weird... You can asked my sister, i can call her.

'No dont. Max, i like you too but not now. Can you wait for me? I'll be the one asking you out. I promise! I need more time to heal....'

I understand. I'll wait for you. *hug

'Can we go back to the hotel?'

Let's go.

'I watch you race tomorrow. I'll cheer for you and Alex. ;)'

------------------------------------------------------

Something happened to Max's car so he got DNF for that race. That was a very bad news and what pissed him off, it was Miles who pushed him in the corner which caused his car to spin and damage. The good news was Alex finished forth. Max is certainly not in a good mood.

[Max: Meet me at my caravan.]

I rushed to his caravan. I saw him, holding back his tears a bit.

'Hey, its okay. Let's get our from here.'

This time I drive his car out from the racing place to somewhere calmer.

'Max, you want to eat or grab a drink or anything?'

We find a decent place to eat. I choose sushi, I know very typical to be eating sushi in Japan. It taste better if you eat here.

'You wanna talk about the race?'

There is nothing much to talk about. What happened had happened, we just need to improve the next race.

'It's not your fault. I saw how it happened and let's just....not talk about it.' ( i need to cheer him up!)

*Max just playing with his food. Not really eating.

'Hey, eat your food or i'll make you eat some.'

I dont feel like... *i just push some sushi into his mouth. He dont really have much choice but to swallow it.

*i laughs ' Yupe, thats what i will do if you show me that attitude.'

I dont wanna eat anymore.. *He stands up and started to walk away

'Hey wait up. Let me pay the food, at least.'

I paid for the food. Im still hungry tho. It is not fun to see him like this. I know this is not the first time he had crashed but this is the first time im seeing it. I need to do something to cool him down.

Max is already waiting inside the car. I knocked his window, he opened the door, i pulled him out.

I dont wanna ..... * i pulled him closer to me and give him a nice kiss and he kiss me back!

As we separate from smooching,

'Can we eat now?'

*Max just shake his head agreeing.

So, i should always stay sad if i want that to happen. *Max

'If you dare, next time i'll just call Alex to pick you up cause im not going to entertain grumpy Verstappen.'

*we laugh and head out elsewhere

I needed to be bold and i guess that is a bold move!

-------------------------------------------------------

It is the last race of the season, Max got his podium this time as runner up. He did well this season. Our relationship was also going very well. We knew that we are a thing but nothing official. I mean, i would watch him race from the garage and not in the place where usually 'girlfriend' watch. We keep our relationship very low profile and very private. Only certain people know about us. The news calling me the 'mystery girl' because you dont really see us in public as ourselves. Max is very good at disguising himself whenever we need to go out in public. Im happy! So happy that i the thought of Max gives me good mood.

My manager came to me as we are cleaning up the garage. I would help around as much as i could because i enjoyed working with these people. If you take interest in their work, they will always help you do well in yours.

'Serene, can i talk with you for a minute?'

'Yeah, sure.'

'This is your new contract. Welcome to the team :)'

'Thank you! Thank You!!!'

'Return to me this contract as we got back.'

'I WILL!'

I jumped and the one that saw it congratulate me. I see good things starting to get in line.

I called Max ASAP!

'Hey, hey wait, you are talking to fast!'

I GOT THE JOB. I JUST GOT MY NEW CONTRACT! LETS GO OUT AND CELEBRATE!!

'Heyyyyy, nice! Yeah, let's go out!'

Wear something VERY VERY NICE OKAY?! IT'S A PROPER DATE!

'Heyyyyy, look at you asking me out. Lemme think first...'

Im just gonna ask Alex see if he is available tonight.

'Im just kidding!! I'll pick you at 8.'

NO, I WILL pick you at 8.

'Kinda arrogant for a first date.'

BYE!

------------------------------------------------------

I asked some help for Max's personal assistant about this date. I had planned it for awhile and the contract was actually an excuse to make it happen tonight. If it didnt happened i would still create and excuse to make it happened. It nearly cost me some trouble because i asked his assistant to clear his schedule tonight and suddenly he won second place so he was invited to the party and a dinner with one of the big boss. Yet, Max himself refuse and said he had a very special dinner with a very close friend directly to the boss. So yeah, that happened.

I asked his PA about where i should go and how to avoid all the press and shits like that. She helped me with it. She gave some tips about getting out from any trouble. I hope nothing bad go down tonight.

So i picked him up on his hotel. I hired a driver and a private car. The car came with the driver. It is a very private restaurant. It only serves for certain people and only accept like 20 guest per night. They have exclusive menus and everything here is exclusive. I managed to get this place is because i asked Miles for a favor. Its the least thing he could do. He pulled some strings and voila! I got in! All i need is to arranged to transport and plan the rest which i did.

'Wow! How do you managed to get this kind of place!'

"I have help from some friends. This is Abu dhabi, nothing is impossible."

While we are having dinner,

"Do you think, we could work?"

'This is working better than i thought. You dont have to be so humble about it. I never felt so hard for a girl before. I do miss those flustered face. *Max laughs'

"Shut up.. *i smile* I hope you like this date."

'I love it! I love you too.'

*I almost chock my food. (coughing) I saw Max's face is soooooooo red. All he could do is looked the other way.

"I love you too too!" *we smile and hold hands :)

Friday, March 27, 2020

Chapter 4: The truth

7:54 AM 0 Comments

Miles sent me to the airport and waved me good bye. He will go home the next day because he mistakenly booked the wrong ticket. It was funny but he said probably he needed some fresh air here. I tried to sleep the rest of the flight because i just dont want to think too much about ... Max. It is hard to actually get over him because i had this fantasy of being with him. The way he used to treat makes it look possible.

Have you ever got your heart broken before it was handed? Im not sure if it makes any sense.

-----------------------------------------------

My dad was there when i arrived. It was surely a silence ride home until my dad asked me,

So what happened? Did someone break your heart or something?

How do you always know??? Did you put a spy camera on me somewhere?

I did not. Your face, you made the same face when you broke up with that Dylan guy.

This time i did not break up with anyone but what happened did hurt my feelings. Its complicated.

Everything about women is complicated. You dont have to tell me the story if you dont want to. Im here okay. Im your first love. *i smile

Yupe, im glad you still love me like that. * partial hug coz he is driving . Well, you remember Miles?

The kid you used to play with?

Yes. We got reconnected over the last race. I met him and over 2 dates he actually asked me to be his girlfriend.

You said yes? Yet you return home with a broken heart face? Indeed what happened looked complicated enough.

I did said yes and i think it is better with him because he actually show efforts to be with me. This other guy, he made me wait and feel uncertain.

Look love, im not here judging your decision but i have a piece of advise, the heart wants what it wants.

Dad, thats selena gomez's song.

I know but the message is there. You cant force yourself to fall in love with someone. It comes naturally.

Are you saying i shouldn't be with Miles?

No, im just saying you cant force yourself with someone you dont feel right.

*i just keep quiet.

My dad does have a point there. I think, im just gonna try my best with Miles.

I told Miles that i have no high expectations in our relationship and i want him to focus more on his career and his family. I dont mind being the second or third priority. We work in this industry and we know things here need your 100 focus. They run things fast here. As for my career, i realize that we must always be aware of any mistakes and need more innovations to be better. If you cant handle the pressure, you cant work here.

Before i head back to Buckinghamshire, Miles called and he said he will come by to visit me. Spend a few days together in Italy. I agreed and postpone my flight for 2 days.

I picked Miles from the airport. While in the car,

How was your flight here?

Smooth. It was okay. Can we grab pizza home?

Its italy, there's pizza everywhere! *laughs

He stayed at our house because we have extra room and my grandma's house is kinda deep in a village. Our room are fancier than any hotel nearby. He was very nice to my whole family. My grandma literally felt for him! LOL We spent most of our time play tourist. Took pictures together and i genuinely feel very happy! Max never cross my mind. I heard rumors, from some gossip channels, they said Max was spotted with a girl around New York. Some even said it was his girlfriend. I guess, both of us had moved on.

---------------------------------------------------------

My dad sent us both to the airport. I hugged my dad tightly and crack a few tears because im going to miss him and my mum a lot!

Thanks dad:')

Take care my love :)

Kiss Miles good bye because he needed to be back to Monaco so have different flight to catch. This time i help him buy the ticket.

------------------------------------------------------

The flight was okay. I was among the earliest to arrive here. It was kinda quiet. I guess everyone else took extra days. I get it because the office opens in next week. I needed to come early because i was in charge to monitor the last preparation of the car. Among the last to inspect it. It is not really my main job but i need to be flexible to be in this company. They said i needed to learn more and i have to agree with that. We dont learn SPECIFICALLY about f1 cars only, we learn everything in general.

Miles texted me as he landed.

[Hey, i just landed. How about you?]

[Yeah, im here at this empty apartment.]

[You know, if you feel lonely, you can always text me and tell me things. I may reply it late but i will get back to you. Always!]

[I know. Thanks hun. I want to rest now. We'll talk soon okay.]

I unpack my luggage and clean myself. I decided to go out for a short job before grab some dinner at the nearest store.

While i jog, i will always blast some music on my earphone. Let me enter this zone i have in my head. When im mad, i ran as fast as i could until i loose my breath or hurt my stomach. It makes me feel better in way.

*someone tap my shoulder

It was Alex Albon.

Hey, i didnt know drivers should come back early too?

Nah, its only me. Max is still in his holiday.

Why?

I just moved most of my stuff here. My mum and most of my siblings are here too but right now they headed to the mall or something. I needed to breath out some fresh air. I saw you running as if someone was chasing you. *laughs

Yeah, i mean NO, i was just exercising.

I know we barely talk but I know stuff okay. Im friend with Max so he talked to me too.

*i looked away

I have a boyfriend now and he has a girlfriend too so there is nothing much to talk about.

He doesn't settle for someone that fast. I bet it is just a fling or just a friend or something.

Im gonna go with something.

Wait, i heard rumors about Miles, they said he doesnt usually do long distance. He loves being single.

You dont know him like i know him so just keep all your rumors to yourself. *i continue running

Yes im angry. Im angry people talking shits like that. Im scared too. What if what they said it was true? That Miles are something else..

---------------------------------------------------------------

The vacations are over. The first meeting i have is with my manager.

'Serene, overall your performances are much better than we predicted. We can see you are dedicate and hard working person. We will renew your employment contract by the end of the season.'

'Thank you Mrs. Jackson. '

I need to work my ass off to ensure i get to sign that contract! I may not want to settle here but i need to build my network somewhere.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I was not invited to the next few races because the team is starting a new plan for the car next season. I was in and out of office doing more research and digging more information about the parts we might need to purchase. It means, i was very busy and barely have time with Miles. Whenever im free, i would end up dozed off. We had some minor fights about how im not spending any time with him. I said, im trying my best and i promised to get back to him. What i ensure i do is wishing him the best for each of his race and congratulate him no matter what place he got. I do feel guilty that i dont spend time with him.

After about a month, i decided to take a few days off because i had worked day and night in the office for the past month, i deserve some rest. I got my days off so i booked a flight to Japan as there is the next race will be held and im coming as Miles's girlfriend not as a red bull team. I didn't inform him earlier because i wanted it to be a surprise!

I got back, packed my beg and go straight to the airport. I endure the 11 hours flight. I asked Miles about where he is staying. As i landed, i called him asking where he is. He asked me what is the loud sound behind because usually i called him when im at home after work. I said i when out shopping as it is the weekends. LOL He said he needed to settle somethings at his caravan before headed to the hotel. I grab a taxi to the hotel and wait for him in the lobby.

I nearly slept because i was exhausted but i managed it!

I saw him. I was about to scream his name, suddenly............................. i saw him with another woman. He wrap his left hand on her wrist and they are smiling and giggling about something. I.........I cant move. I am frozen. I am shock to the core. I cant believe Alex was right........ I cant, I cant believe my eyes. I blink more.

He even walked passed me like, he doesnt even know me. I know his room number. I waited for awhile. Then, i go to his room......

I wanted to knock but i was scared. Im not sure what im scared of but the fear is there. While my hand are shaking, i knocked the door. They didnt answer. I said, ROOM SERVICE! Someone ordered sandwiches!

THAT woman answers the door. I just barged in and i saw Miles completely naked.....

HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!

Serene? What are you doing here???

I FLEW 11 HOURS JUST TO DISCOVER YOU CHEAT ON ME! I EVEN BOUGHT A VIP PASS TO THE PIT TO SEE YOU FUCKING DRIVE TOMORROW AND .. WOW! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! THE FLIGHT TICKET AND THE PASS COST ME HALF OF MY PAY CHECK WHICH I WORK MY ASS OFF LAST MONTH. you are just pathetic..

I walk out while Miles shout my name a few times.

I was lost. Im not even sure where i should stay because i booked a room at the same hotel before Miles arrived. I just keep on walking while crying. I was sooo exhausted i just lost it. The last thing i remembered, i saw pitch black and i felt and someone caught me. I think i heard voices calling out for my name. I was too tired to even open my eyes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up in a hotel room. I am confused. I looked down, im still nicely dressed. Oh thank God!

"Are you okay?"

I looked aside, i saw.......... Max

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Chapter 3: Caught in the middle

9:00 AM 0 Comments

I was not allowed to join the next race and Max literally shut me out. We didn't talked since Silverstone. I just thought to myself, maybe I was wrong. He didnt even like me.

*beep a text

Hey, Serene? Its me Miles leclec!!

Let's go a bit down the road. So... i said my dad worked for the top team, it was the ferrari team. While i was a kid, I hanged out with Miles because he was the only kid around my age. His father, Magness Leclec was the ferrari driver. We had known each other for years but we didnt have chance to catch up since i took my degree. I heard he continued his dad's legacy and got into racing. I heard he drives for ferrari now like his dad used to be.

It is a surprise he text me because even on the last race i went, he didnt even bother to say hello.

Yeah, this is Serene. How are you? Why so sudden?*reply text

I heard you joined red bull supporting team so you must be joining the next race? Let's hand out and catch up!

Yupe i got the chance to go to the next race in Hungary. Hurm, i dont think so. I mean as a driver, you cant be disturb during that weekend.

Its cool, its just coffee or tea. See me after practice, ill text you when im free.

I guess so. We'll see.

This weekend is the last race before a 2 weeks break. I got a chance to go back home. Finally!

----------------
The racing weekend.

Max and I still not talking but i guess i dont want to think much about it. I know my place tho.

Miles and I got together at a coffee shop and decided to grab some dinner. Maybe pizza. We catch up about our live and he told me things about his racing career which developed so fast. I know he have the talent since he was a boy. I mean, look at his dad. He had been growing up at the track so it is not a surprise to see him BEING on track. Miles and Max actually debut f1 racing the same year if im not mistaken. They were the youngest on track.

I see you are doing well. Why dont your girlfriend come this race?

I dont have any. I tried but it's hard.

I get it. I havent been in any serious relationship even in uni. Most boys are jerk and just want sex. Unbelievable. *beep

text [Max: Where are you? I heard you when out.]
[ I am with childhood friend. Dont worry about me. We are just hanging out]
[Max: Okay, please dont go back alone.]
[i'll be fine :)]

Who was that?

Just a college asking my whereabouts.

It must be a he.

Shut up. So, where are you staying?

A hotel besides hotel B. You?

Oh, hotel B.

Ill walk you back.

LOL im big enough to take care of myself. You boys sure love to act like a protecter or something.

Say what you want. I'll still walk you.

*while walking back

So, why? Why you reach me out out of the blue?

I miss you. Im sorry if we didnt talked much. You know, ive been busy and you've been busy. I actually saw you in Silerstone but, *long pause

But?

I saw you with Max. I thought you guys are together so, i dont think its the best time i came out calling your name.

Pffft! You should! I wish you did that. *laughs together

*in front of hotel B

Thanks for dinner :) Good luck tomorrow! Break a leg for me!

Sure, thanks. *smiles back Hey, can we grab another dinner after the race *miles looking down

Yeah, let's do that. My plane back will be the next day so i dont mind hanging out a bit.

Okay! I'll text you :)

-----------------------------
In my room Max text me

[Max:You back?]

[I am. You have anything urgent?]

[Max: Nope. Maybe can we talk]

[Sure, meet me at the lobby.]

--------------------------

The lobby...

What are we talking about?

Im sorry. Im so sorry for being in the dark and keeping silence.

What are you sorry for? I dont get it.

You know what i mean...

You were drunk and .... i....i dont think it matters now.

Can you give me a chance to prove myself?

I'll think about it okay... Just dont think too much about this. Focus on your race. Let's just get back to our room.

*we were in silence even in the elevator

Im sorry... That's what Max said before i got out from the elevator.

------------------------------

Fast forward to the night of the race.

Max got second and he was not really in good mood. I was kinda scared to talk to him. I saw he was happy to be in the podium but like, i knew he could have won it. That night i decided to go out with Miles because we dont see each other everyday and not as frequent as i could see Max. It will just be a friendly dinner.

[Miles: I will pick u you at your hotel at 8. Wear something nice okay. Its a date. ]

A DATE?

[A date? Are you joking?]

[Miles: Im not and please, can you just be okay with this.]

[Just dont be crazy.]

[see you at 8]

[Max: So do you have your answer?]

HUrm, am i caught in the middle of 2 guys? Max had his chance but he blew it.

[Im sorry Max but not tonight. I dont think any night will be any good too. I liked you but, i cant be with you.]

[Max: What do you mean?]

[Im just saying, you had your chance but you blew me up for 2 weeks thinking and shitting about myself.]

[I know it does MEAN something to you. I did said im sorry. How can i make it up to you?]

[Im not sure. Not tonight.]

[My flight home is in noon tomorrow, i hope we could meet before that.]

[Okay, ill text you.]

Im not sure what i should feel. Im not even sure what to say to Max if i meet hom tomorrow. I liked him before but, im not sure about a lot of things now.

----------------------------------

The date

Wow, this is a fancy place.

Yeah, it is meant to be that way. So, what do you think about my race?

We can talk about that all night if you want.

No, i mean, how do you think i performed?

You did great. Its just a step to the podium. Im not sure what you can improve tho, i dont drive those cars.

*laughs

We talked about our families and his plans so far. He moved to Monaco and I would probably need to move to Buckinghamshire. My mum is Brit but she lives in Bath for sometime with my dad. We used to live in Maranello Italy, near the ferrari based. He is italian. Tomorrow im going to see my grandma at Italy as my mum said they are staying for summer there.

We walked around before heading back to the hotel.

It's always pretty at night. *gazing around the city

What do you think of me? Just be totally honest with me.

I think you are cute of each effort you made. I admire your braveness to ask me out before actually asked me. Hurm, i think you are sweet in general.

Oh, no masculine? *laughs

Dont push it. *laughs I think we should head back. Its getting pretty late.

Dont you want to stay the night with me? *holding my hand, looking at me in the eye

I dont think so. I mean, this happens really fast. We shouldnt be rushing things.. *he pulls me and kiss me gently

Ump, i, er, i didnt see that coming.

You think too much about a lot of thing. I know its part of your job but u might think about letting loose sometime.. im not rushing you but i dont want you to miss any moment in your life. Sometime, you just need to just go for it. So, Serene Sergio, will you be my girlfriend?

I...Im not sure. You came to me so sudden and i feel like everything is so fast. Im not ready for that...

It's okay... Lets go back.

*in the car and Miles just parked in front of hotel B.

Here we are! Thank you for this night.

(I just lean on and kiss him) What the hell right? Im just gonna go for it! I'll be your girlfriend and lets try this shit. But im not staying with you for the night.

Im cool with that. *flustered face* Let's try this shit!

I head back to my room thinking, am i going to regret any of this? I guess it wouldnt hurt to try. Suddenly,

[Max: I saw you with Miles. You dont have to give me hope then go out fucking with another guy. Im fine if you just said earlier that you dont like me. Just forget it tomorrow.]

[I told you that. Yet YOU BEGGED FOR ANOTHER CHANCE. I cant really deal with this right now. We just officially in relationship, Miles and me and amma be honest, I didnt planned for it AT ALL. I liked you Max but, you dont show effort like Miles so i think its not fair i blew him away just because i used to like you. ] *block Max's number

I have no words. I cried that night. I dont know what hurts me the most. Is it because he cursed at me like im a whore or the fact, its impossible to be with him or i actually love him and i just lost him tonight. I cant think straight. Im glad i have at least a week to rest my head...

Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Chapter 2: Settlement

10:29 AM 0 Comments

Each race could have 50-70 laps or more! Each laps need concentrations and speed. You are driving a speed car with laps up till 2 hours or more. It depends. The car need to maintain good shape and you need good technician with it. Honestly im not up to that part but im more on the designing on the body of the car. The little things on the car. My work mostly on building and improvising the car without changing EVERYTHING. Something like that. As a trainee, you need to read and understand more data now because you can't decide anything major yet but you need to give good ideas for them. No matter what they say, you are part of the team.

I saw how terrified it was to win a race because as a driver you got yourself another podium and as a team, you made it happened! Well, the first race was amazing! This part i love it and i just enjoyed myself!!

That night, they had a huge party for all the crews and drivers and everyone in the company was invited. I was not interested much on the party because it was the only time i could actually enjoy the city. So, we were in Silverstone this time. I called my dad and told him everything. While everyone headed to the party, i headed somewhere else which was the nearest town to it, it is called Town Chester. It have unique architecture and cathedrals available for a visit. I just googled where i could go and see those places. Take some nice pictures.

Suddenly Max texted me, he asked me where i am at the party. I said im not going.

Are you mad? This is your first hugeee party with us!

Im not much of a drinker and i think, im not looking forward to be hangover tomorrow. At least someone need to keep their mind on the right track. *laughs

So, where are you going?

Just gonna catch a drive to the nearest town and see whats up with the town.

You are wasting your time and you know it.

Enjoy the party! ;)

I took an Uber and got myself to Town Chester. It was at night so i couldnt enter much places so i just walked till i reached Watergate Streets. It was a bit of a long walk because im kinda bad with directions in map. I just sat there, took some pictures and looked at everyone else. I see couple holding hands, a family chi chatting and an old lady walking past by with a smile while she looked at me. I smiled back.

BAH!

I stood up and my heart almost skip a beat!

OMG you bastard! Can you NOT do that =.=

I cant help myself *laugh his lungs out!

What are you doing here exactly? I thought you wanted to be at the party.

I've had fair enough amount of drinking at the party. I saw you with your Uber. I watched you from afar.

Are you being a stalker? Such a creep!

No im not. I just dont like the idea of you walking alone in somewhere you dont even know. *serious face

Im big enough to do that you know. You shouldnt be worrying too much.

I know but, i cant forgive myself if anything happens to you. As im the only one who noticed your absence and...

You can stop there. I get the idea. *starting to blush (thank God its night. He cant really see my face)

Hey, while im here and you are protected so lets enjoy ourselves! Come! *he pulled my hand

So we started taking selfies, and most of it was Max and his fans. We walked a bit till i decided to go back because i dont want to be out too late as im not sure of our safety. Anything happened to Max, i could be the one to be blame.

I drove Max's car back to where we were staying.

Nice car you have here. Did you just drink and drive to get here?

Sort of.... Just dont tell anyone okay.

LOL you were worrying about me while yo should be worrying about yourself more! Compare to me, you are more valuable to the company.

Just drive okay...

Silence*

Max, im proud of you.

For?

You won the race! I mean, you won. It means a lot to me as my first race. I mean the first race i got to follow.

No problem. I hope you could join coming races.

Maybe. Im not much help being around them so it is like a waste of money to get me here. I only got here because i replaced of the officer as analyzer.

Hey, you should stop being hard on yourself. Everyone starts somewhere and you must be proud of yourself! I mean, look at you, you have a degree with 3.9 GPA and never had any arrest record even on driving!

I get it but, i feel so little for almost everyday. Its like, everyday you need to prove your worth and it could be exhausting.

I get it too and you need to change your perceptions. Those people just want you to learn as much as you could while you're still young because they dont want you to make the same mistakes. You need to tell yourself that any improvement made is for yourself.

I guess so, we're here.

I parked the car in the vvip parking space. Yeah, he got that spot for the weekend. I pulled him out of the car as i saw he could barely walked. Got him to his room.

Goodnight. Im gonna go.

He didnt want to let go of my hand. "Stay, please."

I dont think thats a good idea. You're drunk anyway. You wouldn't even remember this night.

Still holding my hands and this time he pulled me close enough to his face. He leaned over for a kiss and i just pushed him.

I said, " I dont want my first kiss with you while you're drunk." I just left.

The next day, i saw him but he was with some securities and i was in the economy class so, yeah. He didnt talked to me ever since or even text me. I think he is mad at me or something. I can't really do anything much about it because we are nothing. Maybe we like each other but, im not his level. I know my place.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Short story : LIMITED EPISODES: Chapter 1 ( Escalation)

11:17 PM 0 Comments

It had been years since i actually tried to write like a short story in my blog. I had some in my phone which had been broken since awhile. I had a new phone but never actually filled it with any short story or any fantasy as i was so occupied last semester. So, today gonna be a short story PG16 i guess. It doesnt matter what PG as long as you are open minded. This story is inspired due to my recent obsession on f1. This is justtttttt a story means i didnt do any proper research about it. More of general shitss. Here we go.

The main characters will be Max Verstappen and a random girl.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had known racing since i was a little girl because my dad was one of the engineer in one of the top team. He used to bring me to some races whenever he got the opportunity. F1 racing is the only thing my dad and I have in common. Well, my mum was not much fan of it but she had her interest from time to time. I always fantasies about being one of the driver but as far as history went, female drivers dont really have any good luck in this sport. Until the day i actually got my licenses which felt like a suicide mission somehow, im not fan of driving so i am just going to skip that. I think being a female in this industry is already something so i want to be an aerodynamic engineer.

My dad decided to quit his job because he didnt enjoyed all the travelling so he probably make a deal with his company about it. Im not sure what is going on with him suddenly wanting to quit his job out of the blue. He used to tell me he loves his job a lot but i guess something change... I dont really want to ask more about it because it made him uneasy and very emotional. So he will be officially out from this team after grand prix 2015 ended. As i had finished my senior years so i got the opportunity to tag along most of the races in 2015.

Red bull introduced a young driver called Max Verstappen who is my age. He is very young and looks hot too. Yet, he is not in my dad's company driver, i dont really have the chances to go near him. Any racing weekend, especially before racing, we must not disturb their focus. Yet one day...

-Monaco Grand Prix 2015-

I was in Starbucks while waiting for my drink being prepared;

During this time i was looking at scholarships to apply to do my degree in aerospace. I probably thinking about joining any campus in UK because i love british GP and i want to travel any europe continents whenever i have the chance. (literally talking by myself and mumbling about my future)

* barista literally screaming my name SERENE and everything in France. His screams literally shook my heart to the core so i kinda had a self-response where i suddenly stood up and said YES! as loud as you can imagine. Which causes the whole store to laugh. Urgh..

So i took my drink and walked away with my head down. Just fyi, i was wearing red bull hat and black leather jacket with cut bottom skirt. I know i dont really have a good sense of fashion but we packed light for any GP.

"Hey serene! Wait up. I think you left this". Someone from behind tapped my shoulder.

O.M.G it is Max! Max Verstappen!!! I literally became frozen.

He cracked a smile and gave my notebook to me. All i could do was i reached for my notebook and stood there like dumbass without saying thank you.

He left and gave me a small wave before entered back Starbucks.

Of course i cursed myself along the way back to the cockpit where my dad was working his ass with all the data he had for the practice session. He asked me, "Wth happened to you? Do you saw a ghost of something" while typing in his computer.

"I saw Max and i couldnt even say thank you as he gave me my notebook back, urghhhh"

"Oh, that boy. You want me to introduce you guys?"

"NO OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

" Hey, im just trying to help. *laugh* teenagers."

So i decided to walked back to the hotel as i dont want to entertain my dad's ridiculous jokes about it on me. I walked with my head down, just playing with my phone and only looking up as i crossed the street or to see the road. I was so ashamed of myself for being such a dork!

As i got onto the hotel, i saw the elevator about to close to i ran and scream for the person inside it to hold it for me!

I was too late. The door shuts.

Shit! Nevermind.. Can the day be much worst... (literally talking to myself)

"I dont think so. The day is about to end anyway."

I looked up, WTF it is MAX!

"Aren't you the girl i saw in the coffee shop?"

"Yeah... oh.. im soo sorry. Thanks for giving me my notebook *trying to talk* *blushing hard*

"Are you okay? Your face seems fluster."

"Im fine :)"

The elevator door opens.

"After you" *Max

A silence in the elevator. I saw that im reaching my floor.

"Good luck! Good luck Max for qualifying tomorrow and the race"

"Thanks :) Hope to see you anywhere"

*Elevator door opens

"This is me. Yeah, maybe."

Such a beautiful way to end my day :))

As i flipped my notebook i saw,

"You can do it! I trust you. :) - Max Verstappen"

Framed it.


Let me update my current life. I managed to secure my scholarship with Red bull and proceed my dreams as an aerodynamic engineer. 3 years later, i graduated from University of Bristol and got my intern in Red Bull designing team.

I had began my intern for a few days now and they said if i perform well, they might secure me a nice contract and maybe, just maybe, a nice position too. Yet today, i had a very rough day because everyone was unhappy of my report and kinda being very hard on me. So, during my break, i went somewhere behind the building and make sure no ones there and began to cry. I didnt know working in this team would be hard.. I think maybe thats why my dad quits.

"Hey, you okay?"
" Not really. *still sobbing and head down
" What's wrong? *hand me tissues
" Thanks.. nothing its just, its not easy being young and new around here. They expected too much from me and i cant really give good suggestions that pissed them off. I even heard some said that it was not a good decision to sponsor for my degree... *finally looked up* Max?! i ump..ump.. *speechless
" I know how u felt and i was there :) You looked familiar?"
" I dont think so. Thanks again for these *shows the tissue. I need to go, my break is almost over and i need to make sure they dont my face like this"

I walked away, suddenly he scream from a distance, "Hey! I still trust you, you know"

I kept walking because my face is too flustered and might explode any moment!

I came back into the office acting strong and putting a mask of dong bon soon. Mrs Jackson (the one responsible on me) came in and she said, the next thing for you is assisting this team talk to the drivers about what they think of our suggestions on improving the car. *ARE YOU KIDDING ME!*

I just smile and when along. During the session, Max was starring at me like A LOT and even smirked a few times i think because he saw how much my face became red. my face was very flustered up till suddenly he said, " Hey, i want to hear what the intern has to say about this plan."

" I er, me? Well, i think it is overall a very good plan but, we might consider about bla bla bla (note fr the author: i dont really know how to write about aerodynamic shits yet)

"Okay, thats a good one. Thanks. *he smiled"

CAN THIS GUY STOP MAKING MY HEART RACING.

So asked to be excused for awhile as i needed to go to the toilet but actually i cant pull myself together being in the same room with Max. I mean, he just witnessed me crying my shit out, urgh!

Let's just say it all when well. It is Friday so i could go out tonight from my dormitory. Here they provide like mini apartment rooms for all the stuff here if they wanted to be near at work. Mostly the one who is single will stay here. The company pays for it because most of the room are not occupied.

I googled the nearest coffee shop. I dont really have friends yet because i was the only one that they sponsored in my year. Kinda lonely but it was okay.

So i ordered my coffee and had it sent to my booth. I spend my time sketching a design that i think will be better. I was in the zone. Suddenly as i looked up, Max is there staring at me and smile!

Nice thing you have there.

OMG are you trying to give me heart attack? *heart racing

Im just trying to accompany you here. You look lonely and have no friends. Far from family. I totally get that.

Hey, there you are! Max, let's got to the bar, tonight might be the last night we could drink before the next weekend. (Alex Albon the 2nd driver)

yeah, lets go. Come one, you! Join us.

Its serene. No thanks, i dont really drink.

What you mean?

I just dont enjoy being hungover especially here, i dont really have people taking care of me here.

Lets just go. We will take care of you! (alex)

No thanks :) Thanks for the offer, you guys go enjoy!

Okay, its your waste~ *Max smile and they left

I walked around the city after the coffee shop closed. Just a little breath of air. Smile a little as i thought about how ridiculous it was to cry.

Monday, March 23, 2020

Formula 1 Drive to Survive feverfan!

10:11 AM 0 Comments

I think the topic today will not be a cup of tea for most of yall because i just developed this new not-really-obsession towards F1 racing. I know, its very unlikely of me. I mean, this topic is usually what my brothers would talk about but im in no position of enjoying the conversation. Let me tell you, maybe its the RMO talking but just listen (read), i literally googled about the drivers and watched a video about F1 newbie. It means, i really enjoyed it!

It started of by accidentally watched a few episodes while my brother was watching it. We were all like asking him to stop playing that because we want to watch something else that we would all as a family enjoyed. Then suddenly this one episode it was kinda hanging, i mean, i want to know more about what actually happened. So, i thought to myself, its in netflix so i can watch anytime later. Suddenly RMO (the quarantine) happened and i got an ample of time to spend. Thus, i watched from the first episode of season one till the tenth episode of season two. Honestly, I cant get enough! (crying emoji) I cant believe it was over and i just want more!! (maybe the RMO me is talking)

At least hear me out okay. Of course its about the drivers, you see their potentials and talents but being in a car that have problems could actually showed otherwise. ( I hope those drivers stumble upon this post and realize, AT LEAST SOMEONE APPRECIATES US)

If you have noooooo idea like, wtf am i talking about? You could try to watch it or just read till the end of this post.

Ok, in f1 you have 10 teams and each team have 2 drivers. Among these teams could be from similar company but each team have different target. For an example, redbull have 2 teams but 1 team is the alpha team and the other is like jr team, so the alpha team have higher expectations, money, so called better car, so called better driver. Im not here to critic but usually you can really see the differences between those teams and the performances. (Anyone wondering, redbull is just a company that make energy drink and they actually drive under honda like if you're malaysian, you know petronas right? Lewis Hamilton drives for mercedes and petronas invest the most in this sport so thats why the logo and shits of petronas is bigger and everywhere. Another team for mercedes is the williams but their performances are far from Lewis's team) So they have the name for the teams but i dont remembered it.

Iffffffffffffff any of you actually know about f2, well they are similar with f1 but what makes f1 special is the car. The car must be 100% designed by the teams themselves. So even redbull have 2 teams but they have different engineers designing for each teams. Same goes to other company that have 2 teams. F2 they will drive the same car from the same manufacturer so it focus more on the driver's skill. F1 shows how the driver could actually comprehend their skills WITH the car. Each race, they can make changes on the car sooooooooo the driver must also have a good communication with the engineer.

I know, nerd stuffs but at least my brain is working somehow.

Only the first 10 cars that completed the race first will get points and each positions have different point. Ill try to put it in here.


Every race the drivers aim to be top 3 in order for them to get their trophies on the podium! Being on the podium actually meant a lot.

In the series you see the competition with the drivers and you will be surprised that actually the main competitor is the teammates. Oh, just so you know, for f1, only 20 drivers could compete. Sometime they jumped companies, sometime the company asked to switch places (only happened when Gastly switched with Albon. Alpha switch w jr team), it all depends on the circumstances. I can talk about it on and on and on but you will all get bored, ill just jump to the main point.

f1 drivers are meant to be paid high because of the risk of them driving. You see they could hit a wall while driving 200+ miles/hr and the car would explode and death! Each race is always risk.
Each race, your car could suddenly have problems and you just have to park aside and retire from the race. Its not your fault but you cant do anything about it. Thats why there are point for team effort. Those 10 teams will be aiming for that.
As a f1 driver you must always listen to all of the instruction given by the one talking to you. Im not sure what they are called but it is important. Even if you dont feel like it. You see, those cars are damn expensive! 1 car could worth 1 million dollor us. Yet, when i saw 2 ferarri drivers hitted on each other because how competitive they are w each other, yelah xnak bagi laluan, and BOTH had care malfunction that caused them to retire from the race, was such a bomb! Or daniel and max accident in 2018, LOL!

Its true, keep your enemy close but your friend closer (lol).

Well, netflix only showed the nice part of it. I mean, what we need to see and understand about the scandals that had happened like daniel discontinue with red bull and joined renault which caused carlos saintz to find other company. Fortunately fernando alonso retired after f1 2018, saintz got into mclaren.

Not to forget this guy who invested a lot in f1 got his son a seat because of money bruh! Like, that shit exist in f1. Well, he invested in william but turns out william is still a shitty team, force india was available for sale, he bought force india and putted his son there! It cost Ocon to lost his seat for f1 2019 but got a seat at renault in 2020. Which in this case cost nico hulkenberg to lost his seat in 2020. Nico has another sad story. He debut his career at age 20 and never had any podium till he is 30. He never mentioned it but everyone knows he wanted that shit.

Lastly, everytime they started the interview with any drivers, most of them will said, being an f1 driver was a dream since they were a kid.

Well, dreams do come true for the 19 drivers (not the one bought into). Dreams do come true tho. Just need to work hard on it!

Im going to end this by saying, my fav driver right now in Max Verstappen fr red bull and Charles Leclerc fr ferarri.

Just sparks some new shits during RMO and you should too! Maybe tennis, idk.

Friday, March 20, 2020

Modern Love Story

7:12 AM 0 Comments
You see, a boat sail peacefully until one day suddenly the weather change, heavy rain, lighting! Of course the boat would be in horrible state, right now, the owner is wondering should she take the pieces and fix it or should she just buy a new one? Of course it will take more time to find the right boat that suits her taste, some may last longer, some may not, it will all become a new risk. Fixing is also a risk because it will not work as well as it used to be, it might sink terribly while cruising.

Life could be full of shit or nothing. It is actually hard to enjoy one. Sometimes you wonder, what is your mistakes? Why God just have to test us in that way? I guess, He just wanted us to step out from the comfort zone and rethink all the decisions we made. You know when you are in examination hall and they allowed you to ask questions but not the answer so the teacher will give you doubts like, im not saying its wrong but you need to read the question carefully. You be like, fuck it..

i guess the first year of relationship, honey moon phase. y'all less than 1 year relay is just a trial relationship. The second year, more to you reconsider things because it is much better compromising it than blaming and wanting more. Your 3rd year, i guess figuring it out about the whole concept of relationship. I mean, this phases may differ per individuals but this is just opinions.

You talked about family, where you wanna start your life together, how many kids you're considering, maybe their names (just for fun), where you see yourself in like 10 years or 40 years coming. Shit like that.

Of course the most biggest doubt would simply slipped into your freaking mind. Is he/she the one?

Let me lecture myself about that.

Even married couple could divorce and find someone totally new and they would say, he/she is the one after all those years money and time spent with the wrong one.

It all goes back to, why do you stay?

It is because of the duration or the money you had spent or the fact he/she is stable?

You see, love is not enough. Love cant get you food, shelter, diapers, milk, groceries, furniture etc.

So, why do you stay?

Do you want more? Is the person not enough?

You start to freak out more.

If you reach a point where it is very hard to be honest and talk to each other without hurting them, it must be something.

Now, you wish life could be better as a game. The more experience you have, you could just unlock the next clue. Then automatically you know your next move.

Unfortunately, your own life is shaped by all the decisions you made. It evolved around that.

So, whats next?
Powered by Blogger.

USEFUL WORDS

Saya tak sombong, saya cuba rabun.

Followers

Make a move