Miles sent me to the airport and waved me good bye. He will go home the next day because he mistakenly booked the wrong ticket. It was funny but he said probably he needed some fresh air here. I tried to sleep the rest of the flight because i just dont want to think too much about ... Max. It is hard to actually get over him because i had this fantasy of being with him. The way he used to treat makes it look possible.
Have you ever got your heart broken before it was handed? Im not sure if it makes any sense.
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My dad was there when i arrived. It was surely a silence ride home until my dad asked me,
So what happened? Did someone break your heart or something?
How do you always know??? Did you put a spy camera on me somewhere?
I did not. Your face, you made the same face when you broke up with that Dylan guy.
This time i did not break up with anyone but what happened did hurt my feelings. Its complicated.
Everything about women is complicated. You dont have to tell me the story if you dont want to. Im here okay. Im your first love. *i smile
Yupe, im glad you still love me like that. * partial hug coz he is driving . Well, you remember Miles?
The kid you used to play with?
Yes. We got reconnected over the last race. I met him and over 2 dates he actually asked me to be his girlfriend.
You said yes? Yet you return home with a broken heart face? Indeed what happened looked complicated enough.
I did said yes and i think it is better with him because he actually show efforts to be with me. This other guy, he made me wait and feel uncertain.
Look love, im not here judging your decision but i have a piece of advise, the heart wants what it wants.
Dad, thats selena gomez's song.
I know but the message is there. You cant force yourself to fall in love with someone. It comes naturally.
Are you saying i shouldn't be with Miles?
No, im just saying you cant force yourself with someone you dont feel right.
*i just keep quiet.
My dad does have a point there. I think, im just gonna try my best with Miles.
I told Miles that i have no high expectations in our relationship and i want him to focus more on his career and his family. I dont mind being the second or third priority. We work in this industry and we know things here need your 100 focus. They run things fast here. As for my career, i realize that we must always be aware of any mistakes and need more innovations to be better. If you cant handle the pressure, you cant work here.
Before i head back to Buckinghamshire, Miles called and he said he will come by to visit me. Spend a few days together in Italy. I agreed and postpone my flight for 2 days.
I picked Miles from the airport. While in the car,
How was your flight here?
Smooth. It was okay. Can we grab pizza home?
Its italy, there's pizza everywhere! *laughs
He stayed at our house because we have extra room and my grandma's house is kinda deep in a village. Our room are fancier than any hotel nearby. He was very nice to my whole family. My grandma literally felt for him! LOL We spent most of our time play tourist. Took pictures together and i genuinely feel very happy! Max never cross my mind. I heard rumors, from some gossip channels, they said Max was spotted with a girl around New York. Some even said it was his girlfriend. I guess, both of us had moved on.
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My dad sent us both to the airport. I hugged my dad tightly and crack a few tears because im going to miss him and my mum a lot!
Thanks dad:')
Take care my love :)
Kiss Miles good bye because he needed to be back to Monaco so have different flight to catch. This time i help him buy the ticket.
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The flight was okay. I was among the earliest to arrive here. It was kinda quiet. I guess everyone else took extra days. I get it because the office opens in next week. I needed to come early because i was in charge to monitor the last preparation of the car. Among the last to inspect it. It is not really my main job but i need to be flexible to be in this company. They said i needed to learn more and i have to agree with that. We dont learn SPECIFICALLY about f1 cars only, we learn everything in general.
Miles texted me as he landed.
[Hey, i just landed. How about you?]
[Yeah, im here at this empty apartment.]
[You know, if you feel lonely, you can always text me and tell me things. I may reply it late but i will get back to you. Always!]
[I know. Thanks hun. I want to rest now. We'll talk soon okay.]
I unpack my luggage and clean myself. I decided to go out for a short job before grab some dinner at the nearest store.
While i jog, i will always blast some music on my earphone. Let me enter this zone i have in my head. When im mad, i ran as fast as i could until i loose my breath or hurt my stomach. It makes me feel better in way.
*someone tap my shoulder
It was Alex Albon.
Hey, i didnt know drivers should come back early too?
Nah, its only me. Max is still in his holiday.
Why?
I just moved most of my stuff here. My mum and most of my siblings are here too but right now they headed to the mall or something. I needed to breath out some fresh air. I saw you running as if someone was chasing you. *laughs
Yeah, i mean NO, i was just exercising.
I know we barely talk but I know stuff okay. Im friend with Max so he talked to me too.
*i looked away
I have a boyfriend now and he has a girlfriend too so there is nothing much to talk about.
He doesn't settle for someone that fast. I bet it is just a fling or just a friend or something.
Im gonna go with something.
Wait, i heard rumors about Miles, they said he doesnt usually do long distance. He loves being single.
You dont know him like i know him so just keep all your rumors to yourself. *i continue running
Yes im angry. Im angry people talking shits like that. Im scared too. What if what they said it was true? That Miles are something else..
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The vacations are over. The first meeting i have is with my manager.
'Serene, overall your performances are much better than we predicted. We can see you are dedicate and hard working person. We will renew your employment contract by the end of the season.'
'Thank you Mrs. Jackson. '
I need to work my ass off to ensure i get to sign that contract! I may not want to settle here but i need to build my network somewhere.
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I was not invited to the next few races because the team is starting a new plan for the car next season. I was in and out of office doing more research and digging more information about the parts we might need to purchase. It means, i was very busy and barely have time with Miles. Whenever im free, i would end up dozed off. We had some minor fights about how im not spending any time with him. I said, im trying my best and i promised to get back to him. What i ensure i do is wishing him the best for each of his race and congratulate him no matter what place he got. I do feel guilty that i dont spend time with him.
After about a month, i decided to take a few days off because i had worked day and night in the office for the past month, i deserve some rest. I got my days off so i booked a flight to Japan as there is the next race will be held and im coming as Miles's girlfriend not as a red bull team. I didn't inform him earlier because i wanted it to be a surprise!
I got back, packed my beg and go straight to the airport. I endure the 11 hours flight. I asked Miles about where he is staying. As i landed, i called him asking where he is. He asked me what is the loud sound behind because usually i called him when im at home after work. I said i when out shopping as it is the weekends. LOL He said he needed to settle somethings at his caravan before headed to the hotel. I grab a taxi to the hotel and wait for him in the lobby.
I nearly slept because i was exhausted but i managed it!
I saw him. I was about to scream his name, suddenly............................. i saw him with another woman. He wrap his left hand on her wrist and they are smiling and giggling about something. I.........I cant move. I am frozen. I am shock to the core. I cant believe Alex was right........ I cant, I cant believe my eyes. I blink more.
He even walked passed me like, he doesnt even know me. I know his room number. I waited for awhile. Then, i go to his room......
I wanted to knock but i was scared. Im not sure what im scared of but the fear is there. While my hand are shaking, i knocked the door. They didnt answer. I said, ROOM SERVICE! Someone ordered sandwiches!
THAT woman answers the door. I just barged in and i saw Miles completely naked.....
HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
Serene? What are you doing here???
I FLEW 11 HOURS JUST TO DISCOVER YOU CHEAT ON ME! I EVEN BOUGHT A VIP PASS TO THE PIT TO SEE YOU FUCKING DRIVE TOMORROW AND .. WOW! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE! THE FLIGHT TICKET AND THE PASS COST ME HALF OF MY PAY CHECK WHICH I WORK MY ASS OFF LAST MONTH. you are just pathetic..
I walk out while Miles shout my name a few times.
I was lost. Im not even sure where i should stay because i booked a room at the same hotel before Miles arrived. I just keep on walking while crying. I was sooo exhausted i just lost it. The last thing i remembered, i saw pitch black and i felt and someone caught me. I think i heard voices calling out for my name. I was too tired to even open my eyes.
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I woke up in a hotel room. I am confused. I looked down, im still nicely dressed. Oh thank God!
"Are you okay?"
I looked aside, i saw.......... Max
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