Assalamualaikum Alhamdulillah

Firstly, together we give our AlFatihah and condolences to all the passengers in MH370 and to our brothers in Egypt.

For your information, the flight was detected to be gone at 8 of March which was a day after my birthday. While, during my birthday was the day i had a crush on Z. So, March really a month to remember for me since I really care about my birthday. Many things happen during March every year.



I was shocked to know about MH370. It was heart breaking and sentimental to whole Malaysian. I don't have any relative or anyone i know were on the plane but i do have people that i know that have someone meaning to them on the plane.

I may talk less about that incident but that does not show that i don't care but its just that, i am speechless. I don't know how to react much about it. But, its Allah's power. Look at the bright side, that breaking news unite Malaysians. Unite the world to help us.

We also got a very shocking news. Our brothers in Egypt were sentence to dead because of accusing for killing a police. 529 people. It was heart breaking! I was so shocked! Seriously! I read the news online and everyone was tapping it in Twitter. Yeah, Twitter is the medium to keep me update about the world outside.

I was so impressive to see how cool and relax they were. They sujud before the sentenced. Yeah, i feel like crying. Someone tweet and said, the world is crying for our brothers. I admit that i may not cry physically but only Allah knows what deep inside my heart is. Together we pray for their syahid. Insha Allah heaven is waiting.

They smile. They hold Holy Quran inside their prison. They pray together as Jamaah. Its like, they are living in a community where everything will be alright. Even Morsi had said, something sound like this, he rather die for doing his responsibility.



It was sad... I can't describe with words...

I had issues going on with me and Z. At first i thought about it as something big and something sad. But as i got through all these two breaking news, i realize how small my problem compare to them. I realize that my tears worth all the issues not just for a boy that you are unsure about your future with him or not.

It is sad and i felt hopeless because i can't do anything to help except for praying for them. I mean, i don't have money to give as i am still jobless and under age. I can't visit them and say to their families that its gonna be fine. I can only pray hard to Allah because i know Allah listens. He knows everything.

Remember brothers and sisters, praying is the weapon of Moslem. Never lose it. Insha Allah together we rise our hands and pray for them.

Put other issues aside and pray.

I hope to inspire. Insha Allah. Let's work together and form a stronger brotherhood. Insha Allah.

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

Ya Allah, do you want me to be apart from him?

Yeah, i just knew something big. Its such a drama. I can't handle it without Allah's guide. I am too fragile for this case.

At first i just knew that Z was with someone. Then Z know about what i had knew. He called and explain everything. I was on cloud nine! But.... i just knew that actually the person that i though Z's girlfriend actually really like Z for real.

I am so caught up! I am hanging in the middle of this situation. Z already remind me never jump into any conclusion... But this time, i kinda understand the situation.

I am a girl so i understand how i feels.

If i let Z know about this, i think things will be awkward after this. Either he act normal or break both of our relationship. Or i just shut up and never let him knowing this. But i think sooner or later he will. Its just up to me to let him know that i knew about it too or just act like nothing happen.

Maybe i should just back off in the first place. I mean, they got histories together. Their family knew each other since, well, i don't know. While, me, i'm just the distraction.

He is heartless. That is the only thing i repeat in my mind. But... how will he handle this kind of situation?

My hypothesis, he will not be as how he always be after this.

Maybe i should stay away from him day by day.

If that is what Allah had written, then that will happen. If not, it will always happen as what Allah already write because this time, i just can wait and see.

I am not blaming faith. Or blaming him. I just thought, if i was moved by him, there will be someone else also was moved by him too.

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

I am grateful that Allah shows me something today. The truth that crack a bit of my little soul but it teach me to move on.

As you guys know that i have some kinda feelings to things guy i called as Z. I label him as my crush and as a best friend. People that a girl can't be a best friend with a boy because some how in any ways, it can turn out differently. One day, maybe one of them will start to love his/her friend. Well, that actually had happen to me once. By that time i was so naive and i never understand the true meaning of love but i do know how hard or weird love is.

They say first love you will never forget well, yeah, its turn. You will always remember.

As we like someone, we actually kinda forget about our love to Allah and Rasulullah. yeah we pray and read Quran but .... we still feel empty. Nauzubillah..

Each and every human being Allah already grande with feelings towards opposite gender even that person is gay or lesbian. Actually, gay and lesbian should not exist but they are manipulating their feelings to like the same gender. That is just my opinion.

Back to the topic, well, as i like this guy, he actually give response and i am happy. Then i started to think, is it wrong to like him? Is it wrong to act like this with him? We never meet but we call and text each other a lot. I thought, is being close to him push me far from Allah? I am so afraid to ask all of those questions to anyone.

But i do remember that actually liking someone is not wrong. Its just that, how you express you feelings. You should pray that he/she is the one that Allah already fixed for you since you were born. Pray. Pray is Moslem's weapon.

Yupe its hard for me to face the truth. To know that actually he already have someone. Someone that supports him and someone who is near to him. Someone who is more pretty and i bet more genius than me is the one with him.

He already told me how he is actually heartless and i do know that he have some scandals but i were to naive and go on with whatever i want to do. Which is, letting him to be my crush.

We never know everything about that person but once we knew about it, we started to have other perceptions and conclusions.

Maybe some people may try to explain what actually happen but i bet we will be too stubborn to listen. We will stick with our own conclusion. Its hard to listen when the proof is just right in front of us. Proof shows better than words. Words can be lies. There is no detection on air that can warn us that what he/she is saying are lies!

Life full of ups and downs. But no matter what we have to walk straight in the right path. Sadness and happiness exist. Its just up to us how do we express each of our feelings.

Try to make things right. Try to do things better. Be a better Moslem. Everyday start with Alhamdulillah and move on. Make new resolution each day. Allah is always there waiting for our presence in solat and other things. Always put Allah in your heart. Rasulullah in your mind. Insha Allah together we change.

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

Insha Allah today i will conclude what had happen and share some stories.

The month began with debate competition. HK SBP Zon Utara Bahas dan Bola Keranjang which was held in SERATAS. We struggle with our training and stuff like finding information. I was busy managing myself because by that time i was still new being a prefect.
Each and everyone of the debaters were busy with studies and sports. We had some conflicts among us. We had to deal with some technical problem. For me the main problem, no one was there to train us and i thought that i am the only one who was so worried about debate.
We son 2 and lost 3. We did not managed to go national which was what i had expected in the first place because of their attitude and how we were lack of preparation. I admit it. But it was fun at least. I celebrated my birthday there. I made new friends. I met some ... friends and my .... past-crush or whatever.

Then the next week I must be prepared of our examination. I was a very stressful week. I had lost my spirits in study. I was so blank. I just did't know what to do. Some people showed me their supports. I appreciate it so much! Alhamdulillah even i knew i had made a lot of mistakes and was very lack of my own preparation but i still manage to answer all the papers with an open heart. Bless Allah.

Then we started to get so much stress about the school's open day which only held once in 5 years. But at ;ast we still manage to do everything in time.

Friendship

My friends had some conflicts that involved me. Let see. Me and P were the one being put in the middle of everything. P was someone kind heart. P was the best listener. B and S always fight. B said that S was a back stabber and because of S, P and I did not spent much time with B.

They argued and P and I become the people who must tried our best to be fair with both party. One day B and S met and they said they want things to be solve. After that day, suddenly S started to stay away from P and I for a whole week. While in that week, S ignored us like we did not even exist. She acted nice to other people like wanted to make us jealous. By that time i felt so unappreciated.

Suddenly the next week S started to act like nothing happen and talked back with us. Everyone acted like nothing had happen except P and I. Both of us made some ideas about solving this crisis once and for all. But B and S never show any sense of cooperation and gave a lot of excuses. At last, I told P that i can't handle it anymore. If they want to be like this, I don't want to involve in any of their business. And P agreed to be in my side.

Crush

The first person who wished my birthday on time and sang for me~ Let me called him as Zach because he love that name. We started as friend since last year. We never met but we text, twitter-ing and call a lot. Kinda. He seems lovely and nice. He is an honest person. He talk straight with me.

He is special for me. But he already remind me that he is a heartless person so do not put too much faith and hope. I am happy as he said that because is m not looking for any serious relationship. I just need a person that i know will always be there for me and lead me in the right way while Mr Right Guy still hidden somewhere on earth. I mean, i take Zach as a best friend.

Tough Brother

He is someone i called a bother is school~ Hahaha
We got close since the end of last year. Hurm, last month was his birthday so i just called and wished. I gave him a notebook as present.

Since this month, he is very supportive~

Teenagers Nowadays

It is heart breaking to see teenagers nowadays which are turning 360 degree into other people. Everything cause by trends and bad influence. They failed to remember that they are Moslems and forget about how to behave like a Moslem.

They are drowning in the black river.

Islam does not allow girls from touching with people who is not their Muhrim. They cannot kiss or hug or whatever but nowadays, they seems to don't care about it. They do everything as they want.

Me, myself also something neglected some rules and i do realize that i must change myself to be a better person.

I am just advising things that i am doing. Means, i walk my talk. I don't simple kiss or hug someone that i like.

I keep my virginity for my husband. The only man that is allow to take away my virginity. As being a Muslimah and unmarried, i am proud to still have my virginity. It is not something that we must be ashamed of. It sound weird but its true.

I don't hurt my arms by taking sharp things and write the names of people i love. I don't take pictures of myself crying for a man. I don't simply take a knife and hurt myself for fun.

I don't take pictures kissing or hugging with someone i can't touch. WIthout taking pictures also i don't do it.

I admit i do take pictures with guys but we don't do inappropriate things. We smile and take picture. We don't stand so close until my skin touch his skin. But sometime, i do take pictures side by side.

I don't dress up like korean or other western do. I dress up simple and keep what should be covered, cover. What i mean to say, if you are wearing hijjab, please dress up like other hijjab people dress up. People who wear hijjab is people who bring Islam's imagine.

Please, if you wear hijjab, watch out for thighs and short sleeves. Also for short hijjabs. Remember to stay looses. This is also a message to myself. Together we change our style.

If you know its wrong then, try to stop and back away from that thing slowly. Insha Allah, Allah will guide us.

Take care of your dignity and virginity. Take care of yourself no matter what gender you are.

Boys, don't play with girls feelings. Girls, don't put too much hopes in guys.

Sometime we must remember to be strong. Allah already prepare the right person for us since we were born. So be patient.

Everything starts with love. Put your love to Allah and Rasulullah then to other things. #notetoself

Insha Allah that's all i want to share. Hope to inspire. Wasalam

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

Pray for Allah for strength. He is the Most Merciful. Subhanallah.

I am too weak. I am not strong to handle it alone.

Allah only give a challenge to us if He knows we can handle it. Oh Holy Allah, give me strength!!