Upside down

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

I am grateful that Allah shows me something today. The truth that crack a bit of my little soul but it teach me to move on.

As you guys know that i have some kinda feelings to things guy i called as Z. I label him as my crush and as a best friend. People that a girl can't be a best friend with a boy because some how in any ways, it can turn out differently. One day, maybe one of them will start to love his/her friend. Well, that actually had happen to me once. By that time i was so naive and i never understand the true meaning of love but i do know how hard or weird love is.

They say first love you will never forget well, yeah, its turn. You will always remember.

As we like someone, we actually kinda forget about our love to Allah and Rasulullah. yeah we pray and read Quran but .... we still feel empty. Nauzubillah..

Each and every human being Allah already grande with feelings towards opposite gender even that person is gay or lesbian. Actually, gay and lesbian should not exist but they are manipulating their feelings to like the same gender. That is just my opinion.

Back to the topic, well, as i like this guy, he actually give response and i am happy. Then i started to think, is it wrong to like him? Is it wrong to act like this with him? We never meet but we call and text each other a lot. I thought, is being close to him push me far from Allah? I am so afraid to ask all of those questions to anyone.

But i do remember that actually liking someone is not wrong. Its just that, how you express you feelings. You should pray that he/she is the one that Allah already fixed for you since you were born. Pray. Pray is Moslem's weapon.

Yupe its hard for me to face the truth. To know that actually he already have someone. Someone that supports him and someone who is near to him. Someone who is more pretty and i bet more genius than me is the one with him.

He already told me how he is actually heartless and i do know that he have some scandals but i were to naive and go on with whatever i want to do. Which is, letting him to be my crush.

We never know everything about that person but once we knew about it, we started to have other perceptions and conclusions.

Maybe some people may try to explain what actually happen but i bet we will be too stubborn to listen. We will stick with our own conclusion. Its hard to listen when the proof is just right in front of us. Proof shows better than words. Words can be lies. There is no detection on air that can warn us that what he/she is saying are lies!

Life full of ups and downs. But no matter what we have to walk straight in the right path. Sadness and happiness exist. Its just up to us how do we express each of our feelings.

Try to make things right. Try to do things better. Be a better Moslem. Everyday start with Alhamdulillah and move on. Make new resolution each day. Allah is always there waiting for our presence in solat and other things. Always put Allah in your heart. Rasulullah in your mind. Insha Allah together we change.