This will mark the first week of my journey to loose weight. I must say, it is not easy. I knew it before so im not that surprised.

Usually i will promote any post that i published but you see, i had done no progress and it is still new. So, when im half way or already reach my goal, then i will make a post saying, MY KURUS DIARY IS AVAILABLE SINCE DAY 1 IF YOU WANNA READ IT. Lol

I aim to loose 10kg for 1 sem or around 15 weeks (3 months-ish). Im done for week 1 tho. This first week is more to introduction of the diet. Like, how will the food taste, how long i need to exercise, what kind of exercise suits me and yada yada.

Overall, the first day even didn't worked well. I started my day with such healthy breakfast just to eat like a pig during lunch at my neighbor's daughter's kenduri. Its a wedding with lots of food, even some grilled lamb. My dinner was kinda okay, i guess. I try not to starve myself.

It is supposed to be hard, or else i had done it before.

I had a very bad pointer during the last sem, so i guess i needed to redeem myself in a way. Which is, loose that damn thic tight.

I was in a bad place before i got to be accepted in my degree. A phone call that changed my life forever. I aimed to clean my skin. Take better care of it. Spent most of my money on skin care. Now, my skin got better. It only need to be maintain. So, i guess i could do the same with my weight. It will be more challenging and could effect mentally.

Im well aware of it and i said to myself, lets give it a shot. I have nothing to loose trying to eat healthier and exercise more.

Right now, i do nothing extreme because
1. i dont want to starve myself. I try to let go as much cravings as i could. Trying not to suppress because i know i could start binge eating.
2. try to exercise in a week rather than nothing. I hadn't exercise properly for sometime so i cant start extreme or ill wrack my muscles (body). So, im doing the baby steps.
3. try to find the right diet for me and plan what to eat. also, i live with my parents, i need to put it out there that im not gonna eat rice as much as i usually do and the amount of carbs im cutting from time to time.
4. trying to eat better. I cant straight away cut my sugars, so i decrease the amount of taking it.
5. trying to read more about it. I want to be healthier. Even if i dont reach my goal in the time i had set, at least i knew i tried and at least i had been healthier and there is no harm on improving and giving yourself more time. You dont loose in this journey. Like skin care, you could loose. Example, you bought this expensive cream but it cause allergic rx on your face, you cant have a refund and you also cant continue using it. So you lost there.

In weight management, you became better in health. Even if you dont loose as much as you wished for, you did lost some and already knew what works and what not.

I think, among the first thing to do before starting this journey is POSITIVE THINKING.

You failed to eat healthy whole day, forgive yourself because at least you had good breakfast.

Dont be too hard on yourself and that is what im doing. I hope the rest of the journey actually reach a good end. :)

Finally i have the right mood to write this properly. i'll be breaking this post into a few sections to make it look more organized.

Section 1: Why

My previous routine was perfect but there come a time where i just felt so lazy and i need to reduce the amount of products.

Then, money issues. Skin care is expensive and i think everyone agrees with me. You see, i saw some people actually dont give much damn about skin care because for them, their skin is good enough and the money spent for skin is not worth it. Lemme tell you, your skin may look BOMB right now, once you lost the elasticity of it, YOU'LL BE DAMN. I mean it.

But i cant deny that im also a cheapskate. In a good way. I looked for cheaper products and have similar effect. Here I am with a new routine!

The least thing you could do is reduce the amount of products used.

I was kinda worried about putting too much chemicals on my face so i turned to water based products because it is easier to come out and will not clogged your pores too much. I it still clog your pores even putting on powders. I just need it to wear off easily. Also, since lately i wanted to avoid using any wet tissues on my face, because the cheap ones are usually not 100% alcohol free, i wanted to remove it easily with water as i take ablution.

Section 2: Disclaimer

Firstly, I do my OWN research about how it may suit MY SKIN.

Secondly, this routine is not suitable for people who wanted to HEAL A CHRONIC SKIN CONDITION. I mean here, if your skin suffer tremendous amount of acne and redness etc etc, this is not here to help you. This routine is more to MAINTAINING a healthy skin and IMPROVE any minor acne problems.

I do believe that investing on expensive products for terrible skin condition is a must because I, myself started that way. Of course with research.

I would highly recommend you to see ANY dermatologist if your condition is dire. Even i visits the dermatologist for some skin problem.

Most of the products that i used had already been patch tested to me. Maybe ill explain that later.

Section 3: How to take care of your skin (a bit of tips fr experience)

1. It is true, avoid touching your face too much.
2. Wash your face at least 1 minute with your cleanser.
3. Do not forget moisturising your face and apply SUNBLOCK before going out.
4. If possible, reduce your make up. I personally go to class bare face for awhile or just some loose powder instead of foundation powder.
5. Stress could totally lead to break outs so if you are feeling stressed out, wear mask or anything to detox your face more often. It could at least decrease it.
6. If you have any 'prohibited' meals that could lead to breaking out like nuts or dairy (individually specific) so avoid it.
7. Change your pillow case more often or you may put on some light cotton towel on your pillowcase and change it more often. Means anything you lay on to sleep, just change it more often. Im not gonna tell you everyday or week, because some of us as just lazy ass, just more often than you usually do.

im not here to tell you to drink more plain water, sleep enough yada yada because even I CANT DO THAT.

Section 4: Routine + Products

If you are from my IG audiences, you know what products that ive been using. Ill just put some details here.

AM routine

Wash my face with my cleanser.

With dry face, apply toner.

As it dry, apply essence.

Apply moisturizer.

Apply sunblock.

Optional: Apply any acne cream on any spot acne.

This is MY OWN BELIEF AND GENERAL explanation of the routine.

I used a mild cleanser to remove any debris on my face. The toner to clear out any dirt that the cleanser cannot remove. The essence is more like vitamin for the skin,, , essence is for anti-aging, glowing and brightening. Moisturizer speaks of itself and UV protections of course sunblock.

This is a very general routine.

Toner will dry your face so avoid using it alone.
Moisturizer i used is gel and water based, this product that i used it SO EXPENSIVE, after the cleanser, you may choose other brands or actually as long as its a moisturizer your face can handle, you'll do fine. The sunblock is also a water based because it will be less tacky and easily to come off if you wash your face. It will avoid you face fr feeling too oily FROM THE PRODUCT.


Most of the product available in watson/ guardian.
Sunblock 35-40. Essence 15++. Toner 40++. Moisturizer 60-70 (depend if have sale or not).

PM routine

Wash my face with just water. I had stopped using any cleanser at night. It happened when i got allergic reaction for the first time on my eye area due to this scrub.
actually, i was advised to use cetaphil but i didnt change to it because that is the only thing the dr would ALWAYS recommend.

I would dry my face with any tissue or cotton wool (because the tissue finish) then i'll apply the spray for moisturizing and the oil.

Honestly, the oil works wonder! I had a few pimples overnight (few weeks ago) and as i apply the oil, the pimple shrink. A few times, the pimple actually disappear overnight. It depends on how your skin react to it.

Rosehip seed oil is known for antibacterial effect so i guess it relief the pimple cause by bacterial.

The reason why i used mario spray it is actually because i was saving my moisturiser (LOL). My, neutrogena gel cost me 60-70 per pack while mario cost 35. Mario was also good for setting make up. I would used it most of the time especially if i feel my skin dehydrated.

Mario bought at sephora for 35. Rosehip oil bought online maybe carousell or shoppee about 40++

Dont get me wrong, it is good to actually wash your face with cleanser, tone it yada yada. I just dont feel like it because we sleep, we need our skin to be hydrated and protected from dirt. Your skin will totally excrete (not sure, i mean here mengeluarkan), oils like detox your face naturally. I know how advertising would say, AM and PM.

Let me put it out there, if you feel your skin does not benefit from multiple application then dont. Another reason behind this, my cleanser was expensive. FYI, i still used krave matcha which cost 85-90 so i was planning to save it. Besides, i applied a lot of things before and nothing much changes with my face. You must take note about your sleeping style. For me, i would definitely smug my face while sleeping so the products will transfer to my pillow case. Imagine whole lot of it transfer and you are some lazy ass like me who dont really change pillow case that often.

This is me okay, no peer pressure. LOL

Last product is this. I was prescribed this cream. You can totally buy it without prescriptions tho. I was prescribed because i when to see the doctor for other condition but by that time i was having a break out (due to stress), he then prescribed me this. I was a bit offended but hey, you paid rm5 for it. ( malaysian have quite cheap and reasonable price for health care in government hospitals)


Available in pharmacy. Price range 10-20 ( berbelas x silap).

I guess, that is all.

I dont explain the details of the products because you can read it in the label if you ever wanted to buy it.

This works on my skin. I would prefer if you patch test it on your skin first. Apply on other part of body at least overnight to see any reaction.

Last section: Patch test

So, if you visits the dermatologist in gov hospital, their patch test required 5 days straight of procedure.

1st day, they will apply a patch on your body probably in back area. You need to bring ALL the products you are using. Skin care products. You must ensure it is dry all the time so try not to sweat too much and avoid that particular spot when bathing.

3rd day, you will come back to open your patch and observed. you may bath freely but do not scratch on that area.

5th day, you come back for final recheck and if any redness or allergic reaction should be obvious.

You can do it on yourself if you are trying new product, just leave in on any part of your body (except face) for overnight or so. Then observe.

Just wanna add a bit. Applying scrub on your face even the finest one could still cause micro-tears on the surface of your face. You can still apply it but do it once in 3 days or once in a week. The effect of scrub still can be beneficial as it could be skin-softening and get rid of dry skin.

I hope you find what's the best for you :)

I think it was back in 2012 i posted something about the boys i had crushed on. It was ridiculous but now, the same cycle did happened in 2016-2017. My matriculation days.

I would say it did effect how looked myself, my self worth.

It was chain of rejections! It got to me that probably amma be single for the rest of my life. (hopefully not)

My love life was simple but too much! I mean, too much different boys. LOL

2016

I just had broken off with my ex. It took me awhile to get back on my feet emotionally. I was such a messed. I actually became kinda like bipolar (self diagnose) because I was happy in the day but i cried my heart out and was very suicidal during the night. To distract myself, i actually found myself fond of this guy. I didnt do anything weird, i just admire how cute he looks. Thats all yet someone gave him the idea that im someone weird like a stalker maybe. idk but he had bad impression of me on that year. ( we had make amends)

I had a lot going on in 2016 so it was just that 1 guy on that year.

2017

Due to what happened last year, I thought to myself, let just increase the range. So looked at other lectures and modules. Almost all of those guy who i had crushed on, i actually took photo with them. LOL

A few of them was actually very friendly and we became friends even now. Not close friends but we replied story casually. Some of them did tried to avoid me from time to time and i was not surprised but annoyed. I didn't approach them in any weird way. I was just trying to be a friend. I mean, i was not rejected directly but i knew i didnt have any chances with any of them.

Aftermath

I became aware that it will be hard for me to find someone to actually accepts me. I would probably end up with someone lower that what i deserve ( so far no) and all those self doubt keep on increasing.

Currently

I am happy with my relationship with H :) I had some guys who actually approached me in a proper way and some show interest in being friends. I didnt reject them like how i had my rejections but i decline any 'more than friend' gesture by saying im with someone.

I guess the thing is, you should definitely widen your social circle by joining more events or activities. Get to know other people and who knows they might be within those circles.

Dont settle for pity, desperation, or less of a person.

Be more choosy in certain ways. Dont force yourself to be in a situation where you dont want to end up in. If you don want to settle down, let them know you are up for being friends. Things like that.

It is important to let people know what you want and how you feel. As long as you are not married with them, you can always leave if the relationship is abusive, ignorance, no team spirit etc.

Be with the person who you want to be with.