Assalamualaikum~ Its been years since the last post. I am so sorry about it.

I had involved in a camp. We learn orienteering, wall claiming and more. I got the worst group, i mean the boys. My group contain 8 boys and 2 girls including me. The other girl was a cute little girl and she is very innocent and she did not like socialize with boys.

The first day, we put up the tent and had ice breaking. It was fun and at the end of the day, we got our groups. The next day, we complete two activities and we had a cooking section called the survival. We need to use our own creativity to keep the fire and only use what was given. And it was the beginning of my nightmare.

I said something about cup that i didn't remember what it was about now, and the boys teased me about it. The called me something like, 'cupina' or what ever. It was so annoying and i was being patient because of Allah. They target me in every activity that need a girl as volunteer.

The other girls, which were my friends, they sympathize towards me. I adore them so much! They always support me and tell me about being patient. Love them!

I even met my twin. We didn't look alike much but our attitude join us as twins.

But, Alhamdulillah, i can see that my patients pay back. I could see the boys that teased me always get bad luck. Kinda. I only pray that they got something back because of teasing me. Let Allah do the rest.

The last day, we took pictures. And i wave goodbye to my twins and my teammate. And my friends and i always talked about how much we miss the camp. Even i don't like the boys but i miss the activities. And FYI, the leader of my group came to me and apologize to me about teasing you. I accepted his apology because i knew that he was the mastermind.

About 2 weeks ago, my uncle passed away and it was a shocked news. Most of my relatives pay their visits. I met my cousin which i had not talked to him for about 3 years. This time, we talked and exchange number. And things started to be weird between us.

I started to like him and i had admit it. He likes me too. After awhile, he was the one pushing me about getting into a relationship. He wants things to be official. I don't want to rush things. I refuse. At last, he said that he can't do it anymore and and want us to be friends. I refuse because of 3 reasons.
-It is not cool.
-Is this what you called love if you never fight for winning me.
-We are just cousins that made mistake. Not friends.

He never understand or want to understand why I am being like this. He is the only person I allow to call me dear, he is the only person I try to love. The only person I reply about missing him, and how I care about him. But no, never see that coming. He rush! And he never got back-up plan about our relationship. If it turn out to be relationship, it will be a fragile one.

I don't understand boys as much as the boys fail to understand me. I am complicated but what I do, I have my own strong reason behind it and it is not just a lame excuses. I pray to Allah about the relationship. I am scared if being with him is wrong. I want to have a relationship with Allah's blessing. I don't want a relationship with empty promises.

But now, I am happy that its over. I can expect about this relationship have no future. I don't know if I am the reason but I think, I am the reason. I am just to scared to involve into a serious relationship. For now I have the time but next year, I will be busy with studies and responsible.

I find songs that suits my mood. Insha Allah its for the best. I am free now. I just have to wait for the right person. And i need patient.

Life is like war. We have to fight for the right side to win. It does not have to contain the most soldiers but it must have the most strategic plan to win the war. What is the use of a number of soldiers if you don't have any plan. Your soldier will die in vain. Praying is the weapon.

About the drama, Insha Allah i will continue later on.

I think thats all for today. Assalamualaikum.

So, today we are having the meeting at the library like planned. I am walking to the library cause it is not to far from home.

I am thinking about what to say and what to do. Then,think heard someone calling me. i look back, it is .... dylan. What?!

"Hey! Remember me?"
"Of course, you, Dylan. What are you doing here?"
"Study group? You?"
"Same thing."
"Wanna ride?"
"No thanks. It is not that far and i am not comfortable about it."
"Why? We did it before this."
"That is different. I had headache and I couldn't think well nor walked well."
"Are you saying that actually you were using me that time."
"No! I never mean like that. It's hard for you to understand it."
"What is so hard? Explain it. You know English even you are not an English."
"What?! Excuse me Mister, just because i am wearing hijab that does not mean I am not truly English. I was born in Malaysia and my mum is a Malaysian but my dad is Mr England and i grow up here. You have the rights to insult me if you want but remember, you have no rights to judge me being true English or just a typical person who was not born here and stay here. Sir, my dad pay the tax!I don't know why but i regret about riding your motorcycle before this.You should just left me!"

I just leave him. Seriously man! Why are the guys making me mad! I am doing fine until he come by. I am not using him. It is just that, i am sorry to say but I am a Moslem. Please respect me. Why i ride his bike last time? Because i need too, like a must because i have no choice! I am not in a good condition. I need to be home fast not because i am using him. If i am using him, i would be riding his bike rather walking now. Can't he think that? He never met any Moslem before? He never know what we can and how strict we are when it come about being with a boy who is not a part of the family AKA muhrim. We can't touch or talk with our inner or soft tone. We must protect our 'aurat', it is the body part that they can't and not allow to see. Its a whole lot of things about being a Moslem. But, it is for our good and protection.

So, i walk into the library and go to the room that i book earlier. Looks like the guys had arrived.
"Looks like i'm the last one."
"take a sit and we may start now" -L-
"So, lets get it start"

We make the math and discuss everything. We have a time break. Larry and Nyna go the cafe leave me with Peter. I bring my sandwiches along. I offer him some, he take it. I read the math thingy and he just sit there and stare me like... i don't know. Just stare.
"Can you stop staring at me like i'm the ghost"

"Who stare you? i am looking at the boy outside who stare you!"

I turn around, he was right, there is someone staring at me. The room have a door with a glass in the middle of it. So, people outside can see us clearly.

I go outside straight to the boy and i ask him some questions.
"Hey, what are you looking at?"
"Can't you start with a Salaam. Salamualaykum."
"Wa'alaykumussalam. It's nice to actually meet a Moslem. It's been awhile."
"So, i see that both of you are in the same room."
"He is a nice guy. And i will be careful next time. I am sorry if you have any misunderstand but he and me are just friend. In a team for Math quiz."
"I can see that but you must remember. As a Moslem girl, take care of yourself. They said, women is the fitnah of the world. I mean the Moslem girls. They humiliate you people then the men. I don't want to see you being forget about being a true Moslem. Keep yourself the right faith."
"Thank you for your advise. I will try my best to always be careful. I got some discussion to do. Salamualaykum."
"Wa'alaykumussalam."

So, i walk back to the room.
"Hey, what did he said?"
"He told me to be careful and i cannot trust you."
"Hey! Did he know me?"
"No. And i am done with this conversation. Where is the couple? We need to continue. I have my Zohor prayer after this."
"Zohor prayer?"
"Can you google about Moslem? If you want to know about it."
"I always wonder, why you always wear scarf?"
"For Allah's name, just google it. FYI, not for fashion."

Nyna and Larry knock the door and they enter.

"Sorry we're late."-N-
"Let's just continue."-S-

We continue and finish our meeting about 2pm and i walk home. Nyna and Larry insist to walk me home but i just said, i can take care of myself.

As i walk, i realize someone is following me. As i turn back, that guy just act like he is not following me. Then i run, he run too. I hide and wait for him in a junction, i see him searching for someone.

He is about my age, tall, with grey eyes and his face match an Asian face. I mean, he look Asian. Like a korean person but he had a round eyes. He is cute. But like the man said, i have to be careful. I ran home.

The next day, something great happen. As i close my locker, i see the Asian boy is staring at me from the direction opposite of my locker. I just stun. I walk away as fast as i can. I am scared. I never met him before. Now he is here, in my school and stare at me with his adorable face. I am so out from here.
"Hey! Wait! We need to talk."
"Who are you and why are you following me yesterday?"
"I am sorry to follow you but we need to talk."
"Why? Are you new? I never saw you before."
"No, i am not new but you just never notice me before. We are in the same Drama class."
"We are? Oh, i am sorry about that but if you are the people who want me in the drama, i am not interested."
"No, i am not. Can we go to the cafe and talk?"
"I have class now. Can we talk later? If you really need it."
"I really need it. After this is the drama class so i need you to sit next to me. It is so important. Please."
"Oh, fine. Save me a sit. I got to go."

I walk to my Chemistry class. Surprise me, Peter is back as my partner.
"What brings you back here?"
"I have no choice."
"You have a choice. Frake is free and solo."
"I rather work with you then him. He is gay! I can't work with gay man."
"What ever. Just help me with the reports."

We do the experiments. Suddenly Peter crack the silence.
"So, who is the Asian boy?"
"It is non of your business. And what makes you talk to me?"
"Is it against the law?"
"My friend once said that you never talk to any girls in the school ever the popular kids. There must be something makes you wanna talk to me."
"Maybe because your locker is beside me and you drag me into things that i hate. You are the head of the Olympian Team, and you are my partner for this class."
"I know that but you are asking my social business not about any of that."
"I am just curious. He followed you yesterday."
"Are you following me yesterday?" (that makes me stop doing my work)
"Miss Serena, you better stop arguing with your boyfriend and continue your work. I need your reports today or you fail the next test" -Mr Teck-
"I'm sorry, Mr Teck and he is not my boyfriend." "Peter, we are not finish."

Can you imagine? Why this cute guys following me? I mean, why? I never experience anything like this. Something must be piece together and i am going to find out why.

I am taking a break from the story. It's already complete half for the next ep called the new guy. Today i am here to talk about the life that is hanging in me. Before that.. Assalamualaikum to all Moslem and good evening from Malaysia.

Today i had watched the film called the Escape plan. It open my eyes that nothing is impossible. I mean, escaping from prison, wow! But i also makes me think, can people, i mean the real people escape prison like that? I know that there is a series called the prison brake but still, can it be apply? Are they exposing the ways to people outside there? Or is it a way for the people to warn the government about being more careful. Anything can be, right?

What makes me think too much? It was my senior who had a fight or something with her best friend. She makes me think and remember about the journey of life. About friendship that had been abandon. I had some. I wanna share with you guys.

How and what will you feel when you are being friendly, they people accept you but actually they accept you because of sympathies. You can see that they are not sincere but they are acting like one. I had that friendship once. I fell for him and its over. It took about 3 months to get over him. And we are back as friend but i don't feel the same. And i always act like i am the old me which actually, just an act. I am just doing like what he do. Is it too cruel? He is back to the old he.

I had a crush on a boy. After some months, after the earlier case, just in time, he appear back. Giving me sparks of hopes. We contact and he seems so nice. The nicest guy. One day my friend send him a text which sound weird, its just a joke but i think he take it seriously. He start to be weird and we don't talk much like usual. Now, no more contact.

I hate it when i have to say goodbye or act like i don't care when i truly care. I pray to Allah for patients and powers to move on. I know for a fact that every hey will have goodbye and every goodbye will have a new hey. Its the cycle of the world.

Then my best friend at school was actually jealous looking at me with my dorm mates. She never talked about it. One day she blamed us for what she had done. Left us with wonders and stress thinking about how to rejoin the friendship while she is having fun! The next day, it was easy for her to talk to my friends but she never want to say sorry to me while wait for me to say sorry to her. It took days for me to find the right moment and mood for it. But we are not as close as we used too.

Right now, i may have tons of friends and i can called each and everyone of them as my best friend. They are such a great listener but for me it is never enough. I want someone to call as Sahabat. I am not sure who to call as my sahabat. A true friend. Someone who listen, talks to me back and always there by my side. She can read me so well. Its hard to find someone who can read me. I am the one always read others. That's one of Allah's gift to me.

Someone just question me about believing in Allah. I said that he is free to believe in what ever he want. He answer me with faith. Well, keep your faith and one day you will realize that you regret on your faith.

Girls like to hide cause we care. We care too much until we forget about ourselves. We let others happy while we suffer the pain. That is the gift from Allah. Because that is what we called as woman, our mother. The one have so many patient and gives us so much inspiration. You guys, the Adams, should appreciate us more!

I think that all i can share today. Have a good sleep and Assalamualaikum.

So, now i am going to reveal the actors!





That is Dylan.



This is Nyna.



That is Larry.




This is Peter.


I kinda don't like Emma Watson. Haha!

So, i had planned the first meeting with the group and Mrs Racheal told me that i am the leader. I already refuse but she kinda take no for that. So, let's face it. By the way, things going so damn complicated between me and the 3 people. Let me tell you what had happen.

So, i was walking home that day and Larry appeared from no where and stopped me. Looks like i could not ran. So i faced him.
"Serena, why are you making this hard?"
"Me? I think i had told you why."
"I am sorry. I had the feelings for you until, you introduce me to Nyna. It changed."
"Why? Why my best friend? What make you change?"
"My heart beats fat and..."
"STOP! What is the use? What are you trying to do? To hurt my feelings more? To tell me that Nyna is much better than me? That you guys needs some space to think? Well mister. In Islam, it taught me to stay patient and always pray to Allah and tell Him what ever you want to cause He is always there to listen. It taught me that Allah already set a Mr Right for me, for everyone but as human we will attract to other gender no matter you are gay or lesbian as long as you are a human. I can take that you guys like each other or you like Nyna but i need time and space to accept everything cause it happen so fast! I don't know what is your business here, stopping me from walking home but what i think is that you want my blessing or something about your relationship."
"How you know?"
"Mister, I am Serena. All gossips will reach my palm in no time. The world school knew about it. So much of secret. You are got F for acting. Its too obvious. I know that you guys don't need me or can live without me but the thing is, i can be fine but you just give me a break ok? No need to spy on me and ask around if i am doing fine. I am still in one piece and never think about killing myself for a boy."
"Serena, things change around here. We felt different when you are not around."
"Change? Different? (quick laugh) I don't know if i am missing something but the thing is now, you need to get from my way."
"Wait! Just tell me what makes you so angry until now?"
"You never understand me like you used too! You! Nyna! MAtch! You guys never bother about me or back me up after Peter screamed at me. Everywhere i go, they said i am too scary that's why you guys left. I can accept that but you never come to apologize. Nyna even get mad about me leaving her. And you back her out. I knew that you guys try to come to me but it just that one time. It was before i grabbed Peter. After that, when i met any of you, you just ignore me. You guys are so ashamed to have a friend like me? Its fine now cause i already know how to live alone!"
"You are wrong! You like to judge like we don't care but you don't know how much Nyna cried about you! How worry we are!"
"Correction, you were. I don't know because SHE IS TOO BUSY TO TELL EVERYTHING TO YOU! Cry to you! She have others friends too you know but why must she tell everything to YOU! You guys are worry sick about me but you never show it. Nothing! I am not a god who knows everything. I am also busy with my projects but i still care to know your latest news. Did i ever tell you that? Do i need too? It looks like i am better off home than staying here, yelling to you and making you realize things that you are blind off."

I just ran away with tears drop everywhere. I sobbed so much until my face turns red. I stopped by at SevenEleven because i got a headache after crying and running in the same time. This time, i met someone.

"Can i have paracetamol?"
"Its over there."
"Thanks."

As i walked toward the paracetamol section, i almost felt because i am having a headache. But someone catch me, for sure.

"Hey, be careful."
"Thanks."

I took it and pay. I walked out from the store. I am too busy to eat that pill so i don't bother to look around. Then someone stop ride his motorcycle and stopped in front of me. I mean, really in front me and almost hit me.

"Its me. No need to be scared but i think you need a ride."
"No thanks. I am fine walking."
"After catching you just now, i know that you are not capable to walk alone."
"I'm fine. My house is just nearby."
"Hop on, miss."
"My dad's gonna be crazy if he saw me with you."
"Why should he? He should thanked me because i am the reason you are going to reach home safe."
"I think i am crazy to actually agree with that. Fine, but FYI black belt."
"Whatever lady. So where is your house?"
"5th street. The one with blue fence."

He gave me a ride home. I didn't knew why but i felt safe with him. For once, my worries disappeared.

"Thanks. I wish i know how to repay your good deed."
"You are welcome. You don't have too. But i at least know your name and school."
"Tell me yours first."
"I am Dylan Radcliffe. From Castlehigh and i am 16."
"I'm Serena Sebastian form Eastern Highschool. And 15 and half. It's not my birthday yet."
"It's nice meeting you."
"Thanks again but i think i got to go."
"Can i have anything that can reach you?"
"Well, i don't think so. If we meet again i will give you if we don't, means we have no fate together."
"You believe in fate?"
"For an attractive guy like you, i need fate."
"Ok, bye then."
"Bye."

I knew that was kinda weird to suddenly being a girl who believe in fate. I do believe in fate. My guts tell me that i am gonna meet him again. So let see.

I had my classes well. I quitted my English class and i entered the drama class. And I am ready for the meeting.

"As you guys know, we have the competition in the end of the month so i need everyone to pull your socks up and roll up your sleeves. We need to rock this!"
"What is gonna be our routine?"-N-
"Well, we made maths questions that Mrs Racheal will give up. We discuss, we google up the strategy and everything will be about numbers."
"When are we going to meet again?"-L-
"Everyday, and during weekend we will be meeting at the library. I had book a special section for us."
"Why are you in-charge?"-P-
"Because Mrs Racheal asked me too and if you had problem with that it is not mine to worry but yours. If you are not happy,you can leave the team. Any other question?"
....
"Great, see you guys tomorrow at the library. Anything else can text me. Bye"

It was great! I am man up! I can face them!

Well, i grabbed Peter to escape. And he screamed at me in front of everyone and everyone laughed at me like i am an idiot. Thanks a lot. Let me rewind what happen.

I took him to the parking lot. He threw my hand.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry cause i grab you. I panic."
"I know you are one of the fanatic girls who will do what ever to have my attention. Well, what you do is did got my attention to you."
"Excuse me? Am i missing something? I think you have had a misunderstanding here."
"That's what all the other girls said! Misunderstand! Yeah right! Know what! You want attention? I give you some."
"Can you slow down? Everyone is looking.."
"Isn't this what you want? You want people to think that we both are couple and stuff like that! Such a cheep scarfy girl!!"
"Excuse me mister! I wear Hijjab cause i am a Moslem! I panic! I AM NOT CRAZY OF YOU!!!!!"

I ran away. Since that, i got new name, the Scarfy Bogey. Urgh! Great. And i heard that Peter change his locker and he had a new lab partner which left me alone. Everyone keeps on avoiding me. I am the black ship of the school. I had a lonely and boring moments of my life for the rest of the week. But something magic happens. Mrs Racheal meet me and she said i qualified for Olympian Test so i can enter the Math quiz for National stage. I grab that opportunity to get out from the school. Then i was told that i had a team with me, oh great! I am being sarcastic.

"Hey Serena! I got your teammates list. Here you go. Better luck cause your team is lucky to go National stage."
"Sure, thank you Mrs Racheal. Appreciate it so much."
"You are welcome. Go through the list."
"I will."

You are kidding right? Nyna,Larry and Peter are in the list! Is this some prank joke?

So, as you guys remember that Larry felt for Nyna which I just knew last night. It was so shocked until i pass out. Yaiks! I was so shocked that it has to be my only best friend. Why must her not anyone else, well, in spite every obstacles we'd been through, why no me? Now i am being drama queen. Dear Allah, give me strength to face Larry and Nyna.

"Hey! Why you hang on me last night?"
"I did? My phone was dying. Sorry"
"It's ok. I hope that secret you can keep it well inside you even both of you are best friend."
"Yeah, I hm totally zip up!"
"I know i can count on you"
"Can I ask?"
"Sure, anything."
"How and when did you start to fall for her?"
"The first time you introduce her to me. Its like the love at the first sight"
"That's romantic. I am late for my class. Catch you up later. Bye"
"Bye. Remember, stay focus."
"Sure, thanks."

Oh, I just ran from him cause I can't hold my tears. I am so screwed! I must be strong! He was my first love.

"Hey! What's wrong? Anyone hit you?"
"Oh, Nyna.Nyna. I'm fine. It's just .. Something enter my eyes. It hurts a little"
"You should be careful next time."
"I got to go. I am late for class."
"See yah!"

Well, i hope not!. This time i bang my locker again.

"Hey! What is you problem! You want me to become deaf! You heard my ears, lady! Watch it!"
"I am sorry. I am so not in mood for any fight." (walk away like zombie)
"Hey, you are going to Chemist class?"
"Yeah."
"Mind if i join?"
"Nope.."

This is weird but i have no mood to argue. Let it flow, Serena.

The class when well and he really did a great job because he never argue when i asked him to do stuff. I mean, he write more then do. He loves observe than pick anything. I am happy about that! My mood turns out nice until i meet Larry and Nyna walking together and i can see their happy faces. Dear Allah, give me power to go through it!

"Hey Serena, hows your class?" -L-
"Great!"
"We are just hitting the cafe. Wanna join?" -N-
"I brought my sandwich and milk."
"Care to join us buddy." -L-
"I got a report to complete. Sorry. Got to go."
"Bye"

I am not ready to face both of them and i know i am acting stupid and weird. Both of them know that i am not a person who delays any homework. Both of them notice how strange i act. I just don't know how to hid myself. I am wrap with problem. I can't be mad at Nyna cause she don't know anything and she support me with Larry. I can't be mad at Larry cause he got rights to love who ever he want too. I am just mad at myself but i am finding someone to blame which i choose both of them. The world seems cruel but that's how it works.

While i am busy chewing my sandwich, some girls walk by to say hey. Guess what..

"Hey, so i heard you are talking to Peter."
"Yeah, got a problem?"
"Yeah. He is mine and you can't take him."
"Ok"
"Ok? That's your best answer."
"Is that nit enough? (sharpen my eyes with a wild glance)
"Sure. Remember if you cross the line, your will meet your new nightmare."
"Try me ladies. You don't know who are you talking too."

They walk away with their catwalk's walk. FYI, i am known for my glance. They said i look like a head of gangster if i make the serious face with sharpen eyes. I love it cause that keeps the bullies and cheerleaders away from me. But no one ever saw me get mad except the one that was in my first English class at the first day of my school. That's how i met Nyna in the first place cause she was the one who was so brave to calm me. How it happen?

Well, the senior cheerleaders hate me when the first time i step into the school cause they say i challenge their fashion clothes. For Allah's sake, i am wearing Hijjab cause i am a moslem not for the silly thing they called it as 'fashion'. They hide my beg before the bell rang and they hung it in front of school statue. I was so furious as i saw they laughing at me like i am an idiot! I grabbed my beg then i ran straight to them like a football player who was going for a touch down, so fast until all of the cheerleaders scream. I made the face and i hit every one of them straight at their nose until it bleed. I torn their cheerleader's cute dresses. Nyna was the one pulling me even she got bite my me. She calm me up and i was fine. I did cried. I nearly got expelled and everyone was scared of me even the teachers. Every soul that heard the story never believe it cause i am just a one meter half girl with medium size with Hijjab beat and torn dresses of 6 senior cheerleaders who is two meter quoter. Kinda impossible but i made it possible.

I made my way home as soon as school ended. I saw Nyna coming but i ran away and took the bus without her. How cruel am i? I don't have the courage to face her. Then she text me.

"Why you leave me?"
"I got to hurry. My mum said i was emergency."
"What kind of emergency? You always wait for me even your mum said that. Her emergency will always about choosing the right button or what ever. How could you!"
"I am so sorry. This time she manage to convince me that it is really emergency as she said it was my cat chocking!"
"You lying.. You never care about your cat. You said your father is the one suppose to care her than you.You never want to interfere your father's cat business. You lie!"
"Well, its a change of plan. I just need to reach house early. Why are you making this hard?"
"Me? Why are you avoiding Larry and me since this morning?"
"Oh, now you are with Larry with one voice! Give me a break. Both of you are in relationship huh?"
"What?! Are you kidding me? We just meet for recess and he bought me my meal then you said we are a couple?"
"Brought you a meal, huh? He never did that for me and FYI you guys are eating together and laughing and i don't see that me, avoiding you guys are a big problem."
"Now what?"
"Me, now what? It is suppose to be you now what! You guys go ahead and leave me ALONE!"
"Fine!"

Ten minutes later when i just cold myself after that lousy conversation, Larry text me.

"Are you mad?"
"Yeah."
"Its not her fault."
"Now my best friend is nagging my problem to you. Great! Live a happy life without me."
"I am just being nice. Is it wrong?"
"You wanna know what is wrong actually?"
"Sure."
"Its me. Its hard for me to face you guys after i know that you love her. I like you since a long time but you never notice it and felt for my best friend. It's hard for me and i hope you understand. Sorry for being mad and you and your new girlfriend and thanks for being my friend."

He didn't reply and i cry the whole night. The next day, i when to school wearing sun glasses and black clothes from head to toe. People around me think that i just came back from a death ceremony so many of them gave their condolences to me. Lucky me?

This time i close my locker just right. Then i see Larry and Nyna walking towards me and i can't escape so i pull myself to Peter and grab him away. We run together even i notice Peter scream at me.

"What are you doing?"
"Escape!"
"From?"
"Trouble."
"But you just grab one."
"Uh-oh"

I was sitting in Biology class right next to the window. I used to focus in class and rise my hand anytime Mrs Locks pop a question but today something distract me and i am staring at a person who i never know.

He was wearing a blue shirt with stripes on it and his hair is like Liam the Miley's ex fiancee. He had a green eyes with a guitar beside him. He is looking at his phone while his ears are plug with headphones. He is actually shaking his head following the beat of the music. I don't know why but i can't take my eyes off him.

I know he exist in the school but i never stand a chance to actually see him with my own eyes. I heard a lot about a new guy who move to this town last week but i am too busy to interfere about it. Girls are damn fanatic of him and my best friend talked about him like... every time we hang out. She said about his eyes and hair which really match my eyes. I mean, it looks exactly like what she said.

Today, i take a white flag cause i cannot deny why the girls gets crazy about him. Oh, he is so attractive!

While im busy dreaming and floating in the air, i think i heard someone called me and some laugh sound. Pak! Mrs Locks throw her duster and hit my head! Ouch! I am so screwed!

(Ring!) Luck the class is over.... I get a warning to stay focus in class.

Time to introduce myself! My name is Serena Sebastian. My name did not shows that i am a moslem but i am a moslem and i wear Hijjab. I was born in Malaysia but i am living in England with my family. I had blue eyes like my dad and i skin tone is light chocolate like nescafe. Maybe like latte. My mum was a Malaysian but she married to an England guy, my dad. I had a sister who is living her medic life in India and i got a brother who staring a freshman at New York. Me, still solo and living in London.

My dad was the dentist while my mum works as a designer. Its weird to find out that he married he dentist but that creates my siblings and me. I had no interest in medic nor teeth nor clothes. I just like to smile and wear what ever i want.

Well, enough about me cause i think i had a new chapter of life that i never imagine of.

They say, its a love at the first sight. For me, maybe.

I go to my locker and start bagging me head. I felt so ashamed and my face is burning. I take a really deep breath and I start motivating myself by looking at the mirror. People said i am crazy but let them.

"Serena, its just a small joke. Better be ready for your next class then off to home. Remember to stop by and say hye to Larry. Larry not ... that ... green eyes ... thing!

I just slam my locker's door.

"Hey, watch it!"
"Sorry.. (without looking)"
"Hey, wait! You are the person who stare at me by the window?"
" (eyes wide! Looking back. Slowly. Eyes still round) *busted"
"I still remember your face"
" You got the wrong person. (straight away ran without looking back)"

Looks like someone is in trouble.

How can i not notice that he saw me.. I think i am in hall of shame for the rest of the year.

(Lunch time with Larry)

"hey..why you look so gloomy? come on, share up"
" well, i think you know the story from the rumors, right?"
" what? i don't think so. i heard zero rumors"
" (sigh) well, i stare the green eye guy by the window in my biology class and was busted by mrs locks. everyone laughed. that person got the locker next to me and he saw me staring and him. i felt so shame of myself."
" hurm, at least you know that you need to be careful next time. so, you know about Peter?"
" who?"
" the green guy you said. his name is Peter Bucksherck. he just move to town. his name is an engineer and his mum is a housewife. they are my new neighbor."
" you kidding me!"
" true story"
" now what? my new lab partner? "
" see it for yourself"

I don't know why but what i guess is true. I go for my Chemistry class and i got him as my new lab partner. the previous one ... she can't cooperate well with me as she said i am too selfish doing everything. i love working alone because i just want things to be right. can anyone agree with me. thank you!

" i'm sorry about what happen."
" ok"

That is the only conversation that happen between us.

After school, i when home with my best friend, Nyna.

" i heard you talked with him"
" who? Peter?"
" yeah.. you are such a lucky girl"
" its been a week he move here but only today he appear to be my new lab partner. lucky? its embarrassing."
" forget it. he never talks to anyone except for boys. he ignore every girl in the school even the hot one. i though he was gay but you prove im wrong."
" Subhanallah.. For Allah's sake, can we pass on this topic"
" Fine.. anything about Larry?"
" Not much. Why?"
" You should tell him that you love him kiddo. I know he feel the same with you"
" About that ... he is my friend. I just wanna stay friends. If i tell him, either we will be couple or things gonna become weird between us"
" It worth a risk. Trust me"
" Nyna ... i love him. But i love our friendship more. If he feels the same way, he should be the one admit to me and be a gentleman"
" Its not wrong to make the first step"
" I understand that but i cannot risk our friendship."
" Its fine. Do what you think its right"

My conversation with Nyna really spoil my mood that night. I pray to Allah to make myself more calm and do the right thing. Actually i had crush on Larry since i was in high school. He likes to ask me about Islam. We share so mush interest together. Sometime i think that we are a couple. My parents know about him so as his parents know about me. We spend most of the time together but the weird thing is, we don't go to any class together. He taught me how to play guitar. We study together. We dream together. But, we never admit about our feelings. We never talk about it. He never mention that he had crush on anyone so as i. I only share with Nyna. I even don't know if he had anyone besides me. He know Nyna but we use to hang out without Nyna, just the two of us. Its complicated.

(phone's ringing)

"Salamualaikum. Serena's here"
" its larry here. nyna called me and she said you have something important to tell"
" what?!"
" slow down girl. spill it out"
" nothing. seriously."
" when you said nothing always means everything"
" misunderstand"
" its fine if you don't wanna share. i got something big"
" what is it?"
" i think i had fall in love"
" with?? (so shock!)"
" let just keep this between us ok"
" sure. i mean, of course"
" Nyna "

As i heard that name, my phone slip of my hand. I can barely heard anything else. I hearts pounds so fast. I am sweating. The next thing i know, i black out!

Assalamualaikum Dear Allah's Lover

I had finish my PMR examination yesterday and im over the moon. Well, actually i felt nothing. Not so happy or vice versa. But i got inspire to write a short episode of new drama. Because i sat beside someone that i used to like in that examination and the person i did not expect to crush on, i had crush on. Things got complicated but that inspire me to write.

Alhamdulillah, i can answer well but only Allah knows is it right or wrong.

Today i want to talk about living a moment and being superb patient.

They say (my seniors) we must enjoy our live after that examination and do stupid things. Well, today i jumped into the 'kolah'. We swam in it like its a swimming pool. Continue. I had made a list of things i wanna do after this but its up to the fate. LOL I mean it.

I know how much happy they said that they felt after PMR like they are flying and bla bla bla. I just hope their happiness will make them forget that the 'someone' is waiting to be date. I mean Allah. I know how much challenges we feel as we step into our house. Being separate with laptop is not easy. But we have to fight it! Note to self. Conclusion, you can enjoy how many time you want but never ever ever forgot the Creator.

Next, being superb patient. We had to clean up the class and only one over four students in my class were working damn hard to make sure the was in a clean place and some of the students just act like there were nothing to do.

We must understand that Allah is Fair so the reason He make it like that so that there are people will learn to be considerate and be hard-working. That kinda person will be an excellent individual.

New adventure coming soon because i got involve in a camp. We will have hiking, pinball and etc. Its gonna be fun but I hope and pray that Allah will make it smooth for us.

Other thing about being patient. In advising people, we must always be patient cause not everyone is in the same track. Some are easy to accept some are not. But in order to shape a better community, 'dakhwah' is important. As long as we play our role being Moslem, Insha Allah, Allah will make it easier.

The story or drama coming soon is more to love story that you guys always read or watch in tv but i will try my best to create a whole new version, Insha Allah.

I think thats all for today. Assalamualaikum and may Allah bless you guys!