Cut to the chase

Assalamualaykum Alhamdulillah

In a relationship, we have dramas and things always rolls back, either getting back or getting back. I know it is the same thing but, that is always the truth. After the dramas, (sadness, jealousy, whatever) you will find that it is actually deadly hard to let go.

We have heart and soul. I am also a girl. A teenager girl. So, i know how that feels. How suck to be broken. How usual it is to be jealous. But you just can't change it.

When he notice it, you pray that he will try to make it out. I mean, he will try to make things right besides saying sorry all along. Yeah, girls are complicated. We are demanding. That is just the truth. A fact that boys must live with. Boys have two choice, pick the real or fake. Your choice.

They like to ask, why we must care so much or bla bla bla. Cut to the chase. When we care, we care A LOT. If you think you are with a piece of crap, then walk away. Try to find someone better.

If a girl is a crap. She is
:never feel jealous
:never care
:too bossy to control you
:the best actress
:fake
:always want you to cut your friends for her
:the one that confess and leaf you

Well, i can't list more than that cause i have no idea.

I am learning to be honest with every action i take and i will talk the truth.

I am sick of all the dramas. I just wanna be like how i used to be, heartless. And once someone leave me hanging, i put them the last thing to remember.

I want honesty. If you are mad, tell me. If you have problems, tell me. If you wanna leave me, just tell me. I have all the time for your words but, you just never did. How can i trust you?

I used to have this motto of my life. I will fight for someone who fight for me.

Remember when i knew the truth. Then i stop entertain you. Yet you never give up on trying to be back to what we used to have. And now, i am fighting for you but, i don't see your respond or maybe i don't realize.

I feel like, you don't care about me like how you used to do. I don't know the truth. Maybe you care but you don't show it. Well, there are just too much maybe's. And i am sick or each and every maybe's.

You don't have to be with me every time but you must be there when i needed you most.

YOu don't have to tell everyone i am special because if you tell me, even just for once that i am special, between you and me, that is enough to keep me our from jealousy and all the doubts.

I don't see you fighting for me anymore. I think i am not worth the fight anymore. You got me and now you are leaving me hanging. You never care to share cause, i know you keep a lot to yourself lately.

I know i don't have the rights to tell you what to do or care about who you can or cannot be close with, but if you at least tell me about them. Oh, who give a damn right? Well, i do.

Do i have to tell you, like every time that i care about you and how much i do? But you never say it, even once. Oh, wait you did. When was it? Months ago? I think so.

I reconsider so much for you. So much. Being so nice. I did not fake out. If i was jealous, i told you, right? If i was mad, i make you notice it. But do you care to make it right? You just say it but you never did.

If it is true that what we have is something special or maybe at least, is something, why are you acting like ...... (you want the honest word, here it is) shit!

I know i am mad, why i am mad, because i care. I care about you so much.

If what i am doing right now is what you don't want, you want me out from you life or you want me to fight for you?

I just need to know. You just need to say it. Please.

I don't need your pity, just tell me the truth. If all this while, what we have is just a minor friendship and nothing special. Tell me. I can act like we are minor friendship.

I just need the truth. And what happens next, if base on your truth.

Maybe you can lie to me but you can't lie to yourself nor Allah. So, cut to the chase and tell the truth. I hope i am not asking you too much.