Im floating

I don't know what is wrong with me and what is dancing in my head. What i feel is empty and sadness. I am so sick and tired of being sad. I want to step in the sunlight. I just want to be warm not cold. I want my heart fill with happiness not sorrow.

Things just got messier when i saw something that made me, for sure sad. I mean, watching someone that you really like is happy with someone else while you are floating in the darkness trying to find a drop of light. How pathetic i am.

It will take a long time to get over something that you dream of. Or a person you loved. Love? So stupid of being in love with someone that never love or care about you. That already show how desperate i am towards him. And yet, i still agreed to be his friend. Just because he said i am the person that really2 care about him. Of course i care about you because you are my best friend and you give me hope. Fake hope!

I had been by your side since your first girl friend but yet, you still choose her insert of me? Am i blind or are you blind? I thought that you had change but you are just the same person. You will keep on loving those who you know will brake your heart. I am here standing and waiting. I don't ask for second chance, i just ask the first chance to praise you and really take care of your heart. But you end up loving someone that know you for months while i know you for 2 years.

Why i still become your friend? Because i know one day when you broke your heart you might need a shoulder to lean. I will give you my shoulder but not my love. I don't know if im being the bad person or what. But i dream one day when you realize that you had give up the most precious girl you ever know, i will say to you, in your face man! Not to be rude but i think that sentence really suits you.

Remember that you said we just better off as friend until death? I don't want friend until death but i want someone until Jannah!

I don't need 'i love you' as the symbol. I just need 'i will guide you as your husband and be your Imam'.

Maybe im not always right, so correct me.

Maybe im not perfect but that's who i am.

Maybe you are not the right guy but i will find one in the future.

Maybe i always make mistake, because im a human being.

Maybe i am not a religious girl but im trying to be better.

Together support me and other member of #TeamHijrah