Am i the worst friend?

Is it my fault that everything happen? You called me an actor. You said i deserve to be in OSCAR. Am i that mean? hat i do is wrong?Is everything that i did was wrong?

Let me explain. I am being hypocrite in my own way. What i mean, im just showing you how nice i am. Somethings that i hate but i just agreed when im with you. Is that too much? Is that the thing that make you straightly hate me? I am sorry.

I just love you too much. I don't want to lose my brother. I love you as a best friend of course. I had been a part of me for almost two years but you throw it away in a blink of eye. I never let me to explain.

I never lie to you how mush i care about you. How much i need you to stay and support me. I never lie to you about things i said to you about you. I just don't like you calling me Ina. About how you act like you care but i know you don't. About you taking me for granted. I can see how much that i am not important to you. But you keep on lying to yourself about how much you care about me.

Am i lying to myself or both of us are lying to ourselves? I lie about how im trying to be nice and you lie about how much you care about me, right? Or am i judging to much?

I always try to think the best way to maintain our friendship but...am i the only one trying?

I know that always consider about my bad attitude but...i don't know how to say it.

You know what, let just put things behind us and move on. I look like you are leaving a great life. Congratulation for that. I still need a so damn lot of time to do so. Thanks for the great memories, missing me (lot) and for throwing me away. Appreciate it. You make me realize how bitter life is and what strong and courage mean.