Tired

Assalamualaykum. Firstly, sorry for any typo and for the long silent. I just got the opportunity to be in this page and write.

It was a very tiring 2 months. Classes non stop. I am so tired until i got fed up with people who thought i never study or prepare myself for SPM. They thought they gave me spirit or whatever, i am just too tired. I got classes during the day and night. Even during the weekends. Plus i got lots of other things to worry about. Study. Juniors. Teachers. Bla bla bla..

Everyone has their own problems. OK I get it.

It was a long time since the last time I talked to Jackson. Then I approached him with a joke which he took it seriously. In the end the conversation stopped. It ends with my unwillingness apology.
A joke. Is it? Am I too harsh or what.. I am tired. Tired of myself that I still can't let him go. Still hope to be one of his friends who he never care. Still have a spark of hope that things can be like it used to. All of the things that even I can guarantee will never happen.
I understand he likes other girl. I can see that.
I think I have to force him to push me away like how he had done to me before. I should just delete everything. Move on.

It's hard. Hardest. But it's worth a try right.

I do miss him in person. I thought of him a lot. I just...just want him to realize that it's hard to let him go. How much I hope that it's just a dream.

I thought too much about other people until I forget about myself. My feelings. My responsibilities. I was drowned.

I know I'm far from being perfect. I am not as pretty as others. Cute like others. Brilliant like others. I'm just being myself. My true self.

If I am not being appreciated, then I should just leave.

Sorry for all the troubles.

Thanks for reading. May Allah guide us. InshaaAllah.

Mission 9 A plus is on!