Dating stages...

Let me make things clear, I am 20 yo.

Ive been in those stages and trust me, A LOT OF REJECTIONS. LITERALLY A LOT! I had been rejected a lot. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

When i was about 5 years old, i had a crush on this guy name Annas. SEE PEOPLE! I F* REMEMBER HIS NAME! I never told anyone because i was a freaking small child for God sake (LOL). I had this girl group of 3 girls but we split up classes the next year, and one of my friend.............. end up with Annas. I mean, they were holding hands and such even as children. I moved on because well, i thought things would turn out better BOYYYY I WAS WRONG (lol).

Then, it came to a stage where having a boyfriend seems FUN! Yeah people, i was that naive. Forgive me... So, i randomly dated this guy who was 3 years older than me. I NEVER THOUGHT 15YO BOY WOULD ACTUALLY FALL FOR IT. Yeah, i was 12 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I ended it because it occurs to me things are ridiculous.

2011, i entered a mixed school. I was in all girls primary school so it was strange to be in a mix class. There was this chinese look guy who, unfortunately turned out to be my f* first love :') My biggest heart broke. HAHAHAHAHAA fyi, after all those drama, we literally go to the same collage but different courses. Such a small world :')

While i had my high school life, well, too much dramas -,-

Summering it..

Like A LOT OF GUYS that gave me fake hope :) Some of them would show effort then left me out, some would show some affection but THEY TURNED OUT TO LIKE MY BEST FRIEND HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I reached a point where, i dont even know if i should be a straight person :') I had a lot of disappointment with guy related things. Well, at least i know that i am someone who must approach the person myself. Maybe there was where my courage exist.

A friend of mine once said, "Let the guy approaches you first". Well, for someone who is as popular, brilliant and pretty, yeah you deserve that, not me. I am just the girl next door. Who wouldnt realize she existed until she went out from her house.

I had that once, he was special. I mean, at least he taught me a lot during our unofficial journey together. That even if the guy came to you, he was just another lesson. Yet, he got me stuck for about 3 years ;)

Yeah, i ended my high school love story with someone who.... TURNED OUT AS ANOTHER FUCKING HEART BROKE. HAHAHAHAHAHA I LEARNT THAT

No matter how long you stay, they left.

No matter how loyal you stay, they left.

No matter how much effort you gave, they left.

No matter how much you loved, they left.

No matter how much you want they to stay, they left.

No matter how much you tried to make it right, they left.

No matter what you are, you try to improve, IT IS NEVER ENOUGH TO MAKE THEY STAY.

I was considering about girls. hurm.... HAHAHAHAHA

Let me just give it another chance.

17 and living my matriculation life.

I had crushes. I mean, i mingled with less guys because IVE HAD ENOUGH. I guess, at least crushes would be safe. BOY I WAS FUCKING WRONG AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Let me tell you why, WHY HAVING A CRUSH PUN TAK BOLEH!

First case,i like this guy who was in the same lecture hall. I ONLY KNEW HIS NAME (not even his full name) and his class, i didnt even knew his id or whatever lah even i liked him. I JUST LIKE TO SEE HIM. THATS ALL!

I told my friends about him sometimes and one of his classmate was my friend, lets just call her N. N was okay but N's best friend who ALSO LIKED HIM, well this b* told him about ME. idk what she said but that made him 'avoid' me.

People, i only knew his name by what people called him, NOT HIS FULL NAME OR ID OR HIS CLASS SCHEDULE OR HIS FAV WHATSOEVER. The way he avoided me like i was a stalker. By the end of the sem, i asked for ONE PICTURE JE. His smile, FAKE NAK MAMPOS!

Oh yeah, he end up with dat b* and they BROKE UP. Why? IDK BUT LET ME PULAK ASSUME ABOUT THEM, THEY DESERVED IT!

Then, the next sem, i liked this guy, assuming he was different because at least he treated me like a friend. YES, I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS. People around us just, never satisfied with the word 'friend'. Well, not my people, his people. When his friends started to call us a thing for fun, he OF COURSE LAH STARTED TO AVOID ME. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I DIDNT SEE THAT COMING AT ALL -_-

By the end of the sem, i had crush on this freaking tall guy who turned out to be the next jerk~ Let's just save it lah. Of course lah he treated me like i am a stalker while all i know was his name by what people call.

idk people love to assume me a stalker as i tried to be a friend. yeah i like you at first impression but that does not make me as a stalker nor someone who fucking loves you. Get over yourself... NO WONDER LAH MOST OF THEM ARE STILL SINGLE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA WHO IS THE JOKE RIGHT NOW?!

ok sorry emo.

By september 2017, i started my whole new journey.

I did not hope for a new guy, and yeah, i dont want to be a lesbian too because as a girl, i know how messed up a girl is. Handling myself is hard enough, so just be in love with myself jelah.

Well, God plans well. I met H. The end <3