Some part of life in 2020

 It had been awhile since any update in life. 

I had been busy especially for the past month. Racing to finish the syllabus, finish all the assignments before due. I mean, a lot needs to be done before leaving college and embark on a new chapter in hospital.

Honestly, I am scared. Clinical year is surely not a cup of tea. I am not a fan of patient care except if the patient is someone I know. I am not that good with strangers who are sick especially the hard-headed one. Idk, im scared of officers. What if they asked me general things but I was so stupid to answer it. Can I just skip this part?

Whoever admires my course or any medical course, just stop. There's nothing to be hype up. It's draining and exhausting. You need to bring your A game ALL the time.

Sometimes it does occur to me, like, why am I putting myself up with this stress and pressure? I know why. 1st, i need to prove myself to my dad that someone like me is capable to do it. 2nd, it is too late to move backward or start fresh. It is not an option at all. 3rd, just suck it up. You might find some interesting opportunities along the way.

Let's look at the bright side. I found H. I am now more accepting of all the bulls that I needed to cope with. 

I'm not saying it becomes easier but it did become bearable. That's all I need to survive for the next one and half semesters. Maybe some courage to get through all the hurdles. 

I hope everyone could go with life as what it is now. I know our struggles are different and I am not comparing. I just want you to know, we all need to go with the flow especially when we barely have any say in our life. Just suck it up until your time arrive. If life is sooo easy, no one is hurting at all.

I don't really have any story to tell but I do have some real message. I don't know who will be reading this but I assume some of you (strangers) might need this. 

Mental health exist. It is a real thing. You need medicines and counselling to go thru it. You need help.

Those who see someone is having a hard time, try not to make things worst. Try to listen more than 'advise'. Stop all the 'spiritual' advises too. It's annoying. Different people have different effect on them. Im not sure about the type and diagnosis but I am sure it is very very for that person coping it. The least you could do is try to be supportive in anyway possible. 

It's sooo hard to ask these healthy mind people to spare some common sense. I guess common sense is something you need to be blessed by.