So i finished this series, im totally hooked w this character.
Here's the hero.
Here we go..
He saw me sitting alone, minding my own business. He approached me and said,
"Hey, amelia right? I saw you yesterday, you're one of the model right?"
"Yeah, i saw you too. The 'prince' of england theme."
"*Smiles* I just did what i was told. Hey, i was wondering if you like to go out for coffee sometime. "
" Ive been busy lately. I guess ill try to make time. Nice catching up, i have class. "
I got up and just walked away without looking back. As someone you love to be alone, im not looking or wanting any company. I guess im an introvert. The only reason i did the modeling because he (the art student) was desperate.
Arthur is one of the most popular guys on campus. He's known not only for his good looking but also for breaking girls heart. He would stay for sometime before moving on the next. He might be boring and thought someone like me would entertain him. I barely hang out with friends let alone make time for a guy i only knew for a few minutes.
Guys like him thought he could have anyone he wants. Girls like me do exist but we don't want to be spotted. We enjoy living in the shadows and the unknown.
---
It's the examination week where the library turns out to be 'home' for some students like me. I can't study at home because my roommate just love to read everything out loud. She also enjoys asking people to test her memories by quizzing. I go home only to sleep. Oh since the library opens 24hr during study week, i came home only to bathe and sometime sleep.
One day, I took a coffee break at the nearest cafe, obviously, alone. (btw i usually wears earphones or airport all the time)
I felt someone tapped my shoulder. I looked on my right side, it was Arthur so everyone was literally looking at me (us). I didn't enjoy the 'attention' that came with him that is why i don't feel particularly prefer associating with him.
He said," hey, i thought you say you wanna hang out sometime but i barely saw you again. "
(I mean, that's the whole point of saying im busy. If im interested in the first place, i would had said yes. )
"Been busy, studying. Haha.."
"Now that you're here, mind if i join you?"
"Why not, have a sit. "
The excitement on his face, 😃
He sat there, stares at me for a minute.
"How did the art student asked you to be his subject?"
" He said that he saw me while I was on duty and my appearance seems fit for his theme. "
"Gothic theme?"
"Whatever his theme was. And he would pay me 100 dollars for it. Extra 200 if he gets a good mark. "
"He paid you? I did it for free..."
"I guess you're really up for charity. *Smirk*"
"I just wanna help 😅"
Ever since that conversation, i seem to come across him. We started to hang out a bit in the library. He told that his course required mostly coursework and he only had 1 paper.
He didn't make me feel uncomfortable, i feel like i enjoyed his company but i dont longed for him.
----
Summer vacation
My family told me that they are going for a snow trip (somewhere) which im not interested. I prefer hot and beaches. So i decided to work for a month and plan my own adventure around the country before heading home for the other next month.
I finished my paper that day, Arthur called.
"Hey, you going out tonight?"
' Yeah, celebrate w some friends. '
"Mind if i join you?"
' Its just a lame place where we hang out. It's not exclusive to you people. '
"Dont underestimate me, im open to some new places. Kinda bored w the usuals. Text me the address, ill be there. "
' Ok, guess so. '
I don't get the idea of him trying to approach me. I don't find myself attracted to his kind of people. Am i? Maybe i overthink this. He just wanna be friends and im up for new people. I might be missing out. Besides, it's just a night out w other friends.
Basically, i usually drink w my roommate and one of my coursemate who i talked occasionally. We sort of help each other with assignments and stuff. Both of them cancel last minute. My roommate kinda has family emergency while another one wanna go to some sort of party. A huge one, she said. Im not a party person and i hate loud music. I see myself drinking alone tonight.
Honestly, I totally forgot about Arthur joining. He came by after 10 minutes i arrived. He wears blue shirt w ridiculously stripes slacks.
Arthur: Am i late or..
Amelia: They had to bail on me tonight. I guess its just us.
Ar: That's lovely, i mean, that's sad. The more the merrier.
Am: 😐
Ar: *orders drink
Am: Let me be straight. Why? Why do you wanna hang out with me?
Ar: Isn't it obvious that I find you interesting. Now that we are honest with each other, lemme put it out there. I want to ask you out on a date.
Am: Why should i agree to it? Give me one solid reason.
Ar: You might be missing out on something. We have more in common than you think. Besides, free nice food. All you need to do is come.
Am: I'm up for good food but, i'm not interested in dating. No offense but we don't particularly 'click'. I don't see sparks when im with you. I admit that you have certain good looks but it doesn't suit me. I'm more of a loner, i prefer my own company rather than with someone else. I prefer to wear whatever i feel like rather than fitting in a certain criterion for people to like me. You, you look like a person who fits in a 'community'. You hang out with certain people who get you and feel comfortable with you. I don't that and I don't care about it. Do you understand my whole point?
Ar: What makes you peculiar, attracts me. When i first saw you, all I saw was a girl in a black outfit with a unique piercing. Then, as we were socializing, there you were at the corner of the room, eating and laughing over something on your phone. You didn't look lonely, you seem to be very happy despite those terrible whispers about you. You...look... free. I thought to myself, maybe i could learn a thing or two about being free.
It is hard to live while people have certain expectations from you. Some people hang out with you just to look 'cool' or acceptable in certain social standards. In my eyes, I see things, everyone needs to look or act a certain way to be surrounded by certain people. Yet, in your eyes, it's just people.
The longer we hang out, i realize more. It is okay to be whatever you wanna be as long as it doesn't bother anyone and do your thing. You have good grades, i mean WOW grades but no one realize that it's you.
Am: Let me stop you there. Honestly, I don't understand why are you fascinated with loneliness. I choose this path because I had no choice. I think you are just giving excuses to avoid something. I suggest you sleep on this.
Being alone is something i choose, being ignorant is also something i decided to do. If you have had enough with how you used to live, you can CHOOSE to change. Do what you want instead of what you should. The fact you live up a standard to be where are now and suddenly decided to throw that away because you have had enough of 'standard', i think you are making a uturn. You need to take a break and get to know yourself better.
Hear me out, *sigh* I have my own fears that I choose not to overcome. I made mistakes in my life. I had dark days that I faced alone. I just don't want to invite someone to live like me out of the excuse to ignore the world. The world is still out there. Living in the shadows it means, you are close to the devil and your own thoughts are loud. I'm used to it but in order to get the hang of it, you need more than just excuses. You must be been driven with something dark. Usually .... honestly ... no one really chooses this path. We just appeared in it.
(tbc)
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