Warning💥 : Heavily with certain sexual content. I'll be putting the fonts in red colour so if you're not interested in those scenes, you can skip ahead. The language will be more direct and forward.
It had been 2 weeks since we dated. A little update on Lily, she's hooked with Franky and it seems like Franky decided to transfer to our school. I get it, long distance totally sucks besides the fact rich people can do whatever they want.
Franky is still a bit of pain in the arse but I'll manage it because I love Lily.
Their relationship is not in secret like mine so Franky hangs out with A LOT with us. Sebastian would use Franky as an excuse to join us sometimes. No one dares to speak anything as my deathly glares kept them away from our table.
We all know how Sebastian used to date hot girls and those relationships usually involve more than just kissing. When he decides to be with me, he has to be in control of his urges. I totally understand how sex could be so addictive. Again, Lily told me about it. Unlike me, Lily just goes for it on their first 'blind date'. I respect her decision.
I know this shouldn't be my problem but yesterday as I was walking in the hallway, I saw Oliver at his locker. He was re-reading those notes I gave him, I could see sorrow behind his eyes as if he's so disappointed. Some part of me wishes that I could take those notes back if I know he could get hurt by it. We barely know each other, yeah, the same excuse.
*text*
: Hey, you free after school? :
= Yeah, why? =
: Come with me after school ^^ :
= Where are we going? =
: just trust me. see you later, babe 💓:
After school, I sneak by the corridor that only the janitors use it. It's the shortcut to the valet parking lot. Steve always knows where he should park to ensure I get into the car without being seen.
"Hello Steve!"
"Hello Beth, you kinda scared me for a minute."
"I thought you're used to it. (laughs)"
"I thought the same thing here. Let's move."
From the valet park, we head to the drop-off point to pick up Sebastian.
- Sebastian got into the car -
"Hey babe, you're fast today."
"I sneaked out from English, Mr. Jarret totally bore us with his life lesson."
"Cool! I should do that sometime."
"Where're we going anyway?"
" You'll see as we arrive. Just enjoy the ride."
"Can you at least give me a clue?"
"Well, somewhere outside the city and nearby our family lakehouse."
"A cabin? Wow, I've always wanted to see those."
"You never been to a cabin before?"
"My parents and I barely when to any 'nature' vacation as my dad always work in the big cities. Let's not switch the mood. *opens the window* Aaahhh... the smell of greens.." I close my eyes, continue to admire the natural scents as it blows my face.
= Cabin =
The Moy owns this private area. The cabin is literally right next to the lake while the cottage is located a bit more down the road about 10 minutes walk away. You can see it from the Cabin.
"This is breathtaking!" I am mesmerized by the surrounding. Without any hesitation, I enter the cabin.
The whole building is fairly small, being only one floor with the exception of a small loft. When you first want to enter the house you travel up a ramp that extends the length of the house, which leads to the front porch that stretches across the front. This porch leads to a beautiful uninterrupted view of the lake and is the perfect place to sit down and relax. A hummingbird feeder also hangs from the overhanging roof. The door to the interior rests at the right end of this porch, you can finally take in the beauty of the interior.
"Sebastian, this is amazing!" I can't stop grinning, my heart blooms as I saw like a picnic set up right outside the porch. "Is this for me?" a surge of hotness flows directly to my cheeks.
"Happy belated birthday!" Sebastian screams with enthusiasm. He starts to sing 'happy birthday' while clapping. I just stood there, smiling like an idiot. "I'm sorry it took me two weeks to prepare for today. I wanted to be here alone, with you. That and the fact it took me a whole week to surprise you. I suck at planning so-
Swiftly, both of her hands grab his t-shirt pulling him closer. She pressed her lips on his. Lips sealing together as his hand tangles in her hair while his tongue flicks across her bottom lips. She lets him in without hesitations, allowing the wet muscle to slide against hers. He groans.
I break apart from him, panting for air.
"Thank you, I love it." His entire face lights up when he heard it, a relieved smile curling on his mouth.
We both sat on the cute blanket as we indulge the food that Sebastian claimed he prepared it himself. We have apple and oranges slices, some mini cheese in cubes, a mini Korean cake, also a bottle of soda serve in champagne glasses. He knows that I don't drink but he never asks why. To break the silence and stop myself from chewing everything, I start the conversation by saying, "This is so peaceful, I never knew a place like this could be so near yet felt so far away."
"My mom discover this place incoincidence. She had a fight with my dad so she would go out for a drive. She had a punctured tire out of nowhere, it was dark. Suddenly some stop by to help her, that person brought her here, he was the helper of this cottage. The owner was selling this place so after spending one night, my mom just knew that we need to own this place."
"When was that?"
"10 years ago? I think so. We would come here when we want to celebrate important moments in our life and new years."
"I barely remember the last time the three of us sat down for a dinner. My dad's always busy so to hide the frustration my mom would do the same thing. I would have my dinner in my room because at least I don't have to see them bickering or making up excuses to not come to the table. It's sad to see how my mom and dad would avoid each other's presence." My voice shakes as I wipe away the tears escaping from my watery eyes. I hate showing people my vulnerabilities. It doesn't feel necessary.
Sebastian wraps his arms around my torso, he brush my back to calm me down. He rests his left cheek on my head. The warmth of his body wrapped around me brings such comfort that I had never felt before, is this what 'hug' feels like. I lift my arms, slide around his back while my face buried into his chest. This feels nice.
Gradually I pull away from his warm embrace, tilt my head back just a little. I want to kiss him badly! He's leaning towards me and I meet him halfway, lips slanting against one another almost desperately. He decided to take the lead this time, one of his hands coming to rest on the back of my neck while his tongue creeps pass my teeth.
You know where this is going almost immediately. When you two pull apart for air, you can see in Sebastian a telltale gleam in his eyes that makes you go a little bit weak in the knees. There's lust and something else in his gaze that makes your heart soar.
You're head is spinning almost certainly as he kisses you again, slowly this time. His body is pressed against yours, you feel like the world has ceased to exist. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing but this right here, the feeling of having you reciprocate his affections.
You move a few inches away. He looks at you as if he did something wrong,
"Am I moving too fast?" he asked, voice dripping like honey, and all you could do was shake my head 'no'. He place my right wrist on his shoulder, he wraps his hand around my back and another hand around the bend of my knees, he lifted me from the ground. I let out a tiny scream of distress. He carries me inside, close the sliding door behind him and head to the bedroom. Gently he drops me off on the bed. I lay on my back, Sebastian crawls onto the bed hovering over me.
Sebastian locked my lips with his once more. He pressed his lips carefully along my neck. "Do you like it?" There is gentleness in his voice as his breath hits your ear, sending shivers down your spine. The way my body twitches each time he touched, made him snickering. This is the first time he sees your vulnerabilities. You release a loud moan as he sucks your skin, leaving a purple mark, your first hickey on your collarbone.
The flicker of lust in his eyes as he lock his eyes on yours, he slowly started trailing his warm hands underneath your shirt, making you skip a beat. His warmth, his scent, just his presence is intoxicating to you and you looked at him through clouded eyes as you gave in. Sebastian is experienced in bed thus he yanks your bra and throws it carelessly over his shoulder. You raise your arms as he pulls up your school uniform. You looked away, no one ever saw you half-naked before, now everything is about to change.
"You're beautiful," those words flew out from his throat before he yanks his own shirt off, exposing those Hercules build that was hiding underneath. You are amazed by his perfect built even though you knew he has abs by the rumors going around school. The staring you gave made him blush.
You lean on, but this time not to kiss his mouth but his abs. You caught him by surprise, his eyes bulge with disbelief yet those kisses are seductive, he groans just a tiny bit. The sound is music to your ears, you managed to turn him even more! You grab his shoulders, he falls right on top of you, before he could gain his balance, you roll and sits right on top of his waist, where your hips meet his, you could feel his erection press against you through his jeans. While locking eyes with Sebastian, you unbuckle his belt.
"Do you bring any condoms with you?"
"Er...I'm not sure, we can buy the pill after this," Sebastian said with eagerness. Yet, it totally turns you off. You swear that for the whole 2 seconds, you see your future flashing over your eyes. Pregnant- cant continue to college coz the baby - mad parents - stop school because too embarrassed.
"I can't do this!" I jump off the bed and rush to the bathroom.
Text Lily
"EMERGENCY! Do you use a condom for the first time?"
= No, I took the morning after pill after that. I do that each time we have sex, =
"Seriously? Why not use condom?"
= Franky hates condoms. He said it makes him feel uncomfortable. He did pull out, sometimes. =
Franky is 100% a douch bag.
I'm pretty sure freaking out like that would make Sebastian break things off with me. I am even scared to get out from here, half naked.
*knock on the door*
"Hey, you wanna talk? Here's your shirt and ... er..bra.. Just come out. I'm not mad."
I took my clothes, dress up properly. I step out, slowly. Sebastian literally sitting on the bed while staring at my slow-motion walk.
"So, you wanna say what freaks you out? I wouldn't force you to do anything that you're not ready to do." He sounds calm and concern.
"I'm sorry.. I just, I have tons of doubts about .. erm .. unprotected sex.. I mean, STDs and - " my voice has some shakiness as I say 'unprotected sex'.
"Wait, you think I have STDs?!?"
"I have doubts okay. Maybe we both should get tested and meet an expert before going all the way." I try adding firmness in my tone, despite still shaking.
"Why do you always make things complicated?" Sebastian frown in disbelief. "First you say I have STDs then you want me to meet experts about sex, after all these, what else do you want me to do??" He storms out of the room without looking back.
"Sebastian, WAIT!" I rush behind him but I slip over his t-shirt on the floor, the next thing I remember was seeing the ceiling before a loud BANG sounds.
I woke up in bed, I feel kinda hazy.
"Hey, you okay?" Sebastian said while he's holding my hand.
"Yeah, I feel fine just a bit dizzy."
He looked me in the eye, I saw desperation, anger buried beneath those dark eyes.
"Sebastian, listen. I want you. (deep inhale, exhale through mouth) I just want to do it safely. I want to enjoy each second without worrying about anything else like I might get pregnant or the condom might slip while in me or whatever that might go wrong. If this is too much to ask then, we can't do 'this' at all." While i wrap my fingers between his.
He nod his head in silence, he gazes down like a sulking kid who couldn't get candy.
I tilt his head back, lean on to land my lips against his. Our tongues move like it's meant for each other.
= the next day =
I went to the clinic that provides sexual health services. Sebastian agrees to come along too.
Firstly we do the STDs test accordingly. Blood and urine tests, followed by some physical tests. As soon as the results are out, we meet the doctor who then interprets our results.
I asked her some questions;
Beth: What type of protection should I use?
Doctor: We have variety of contraception, birth controls, diaphragm, IUD and you can always use condom during intercourse.
Beth: Well, what do you suggest for me?
Doctor: You can choose which one you feel is more convenient to use. If you want to use the pill, you need to make sure to take it every day for 21 days at the same time of the day, then have a break for 7 days where you will bleed. The side effects may vary according to people. Sometimes certain things do not work for some people, you might have terrible side effects while your friends don't, then you can opt for a different types of contraceptives.
Beth: Do I still need to use condom even if I'm on my pills?
Doctor: Well, you can still use condom to protect from STDs and other types of infection. If you don't used condom, you are still well protected as long as you're taking those pills religiously.
Beth: What if I forgot to take my pill, like, should I take 2 pills the next day?
Doctor: You can take the pill immediately when you remember or just take it as usual the next day, either way, you are still protected from getting pregnant. For extra precaution, you can use condom.
Beth: That really helps. Thank you!
I got out with a happy heart. I waited for Sebastian and we pretty much discuss what we just know.
" I just knew that there's another type of condom that girls wear it. I thought condoms are only for men." Sebastian said with full of excitement. Kinda funny to see how invested he is with this whole thing.
The conversation goes on, both of us are free from any STDs. We decided to wait for the right moment.
"I'm sorry, about yesterday."
"No, you shouldn't be. I get it. At least now we know better. Oh, I need to stop by the pharmacy."
"Steve, can you stop by at the pharmacy?"
"Yes, we will be there in 5."
" What do you need?"
"I need to buy some tampons and pads. You wanna follow?"
"Should I?"
"I dont know, haha, you can stay here."
"Wait! I think I should at least know about it."
"Ok, come."
I show Sebastian the things we use for the period.
"This is the tampon, this is the menstrual cup and those are pads."
"Why are there so many things??"
"We use it based on how we bleed. I mean, the flow, like heavy flow, normal flow."
"It doesn't make sense." Sebastian scratching his head.
"Imagine the water, heavy flow is like the waterfall or heavy rain, a lot of blood rushing out while the normal flow is like the calm water by the river. Does it make sense?"
" I kinda get it."
"Well, in some days I used tampons, and other days I used pads. It depends on the mood. I guess this one depends on personal preferences. All you need to know, remember these brands. *showing him what I use* I use these things so if I ever need your help to buy it, you know which one I prefer."
I also purchase my very first 'pills'.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I insert some common knowledge that you can get through websites by simple googling. I personally think that going to a clinic or any health facility that provides sexual services or whatever your country call it, is appropriate before you start to be active sexually. You need to have the right knowledge about it so you can practice safe sex.
Also, your partner (male) should at least know about pads and tampons or whatever you prefer to use during menstrual. There's nothing to be ashamed of about menstrual and he also needs to be responsible to take care of you during your PMS etc.
I know that this episode is kinda a lot but I hope yall enjoy it! This is probably will be the last episode for a long time. I just got a job and I needed to direct all of my focus on that job. I will be updating my blog less than usual.
Thank you for reading! See you next time!
ps: pray for me!
No comments:
Post a Comment