My heart hurts. That's all I can feel right now. Just hurt. Rather then screaming and shouting or throwing anything, I prefer to laugh. Strangers will said that I am crazy but who cares what people said right? Because caring too much about all the words, you can never find peace. Its true.
Till now, there are only two person who is not my family member and not even someone I always hang out with and ....the opposite gender too. I met only one of them last year. For a few a few seconds.
Well to be honest, I never felt .....love, I guess, when I was with them. Its not physically but the warm of love, gives me courage and what was worst, hope.. Hope of a fairytale future. We can run from something but we cannot run from something we don't see like, feelings. That thing already stuck inside your soul!
I like that feelings a lot because it taught me the meaning that of life. I learned to be more careful with anyone. Learned to appreciate, loyalty, kind, patient and faith.
Like they say, either they come for lesson or partner.
Of course I got through the damn chapter entitled, THE BROKEN HEART and I had to admit that its a wet chapter but maybe that makes me stronger.
I tried to find someone to replace them or at least someone who is worth in the list but, each one of them failed me. I never talked to any other guy about them because I want them to be special.
The first guy got me admitted that I am actually in love with him and being yourself. The second guy taught me more about sacrifice and he was the reason I realize how jealous I am towards someone. Jealousy. ✌✌✌
Them made me realize that matter how much you love or you care about someone..... No matter how much you want to be with them in the future, if you really want them to be your future you just need to pray for it. Maybe you will be with him but not now. You need to be more patient. Good things come to people who wait! Maybe the future that awaits is better. You'll never know unleasr you wait. Loving someone now does not mean you are meant to be together. Some people prefer to keep on trying. For me, if you keep on trying but you never asked for it, you might need to wait longer. It's like a short kid that wanted to reach out for candy at the highest level of the shelf but that kid never ask for any help. Will he get his candy in a short period or he will never get it all or maybe he will get it if, only if an adult saw him then help him. Which one comes faster? Your choice. You need help. You can't hope on yourself. That's why God exist. Allah. That's my belief.
I am not asking you to change religion to pray but what I am advising is, praying for a better future.
Inshaa Allah. Hope to inspire. Sorry for any of my mistakes.
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