"Used To"

It is heart breaking to actually use the phase, 'used to'.

"we used to be friends"
"we used to be close"
"you used to be mine"
"i used to get good grades"

A positive statement that turns into negative statement.

That is when you realize the world is changing. People change. Nothing is always stay as how it used to be. Actually, you have grow up. You are in a brand new adventures. People come and go. Some of them love to reappear and makes you doubt about your future. You never want to regret and feel back the past pain.

Pain. You will learn to get used to it. One day you will be immune with any pain.

Me? Getting over my jealousy. Jealousy is the main problem in any relationship. Between friends family. Whatever relationship you got.

I have no rights to say to someone that he/she must stop being with that other person because i am jealous. That is just does not makes sense.

I got this friendship. It was broken because she was jealous between me and her other friend.

I was so hurt. I suffer a lot of pain over that case. I tried to make it right but she never accepts me.

Looking my other friends win her over all our arguments, that is so not fun. Can you imagine, most of my friends back her up.

Next....looking at the person i have a crush on .... close to one of my friend. I know that the three of us are classmate and everyone have their rights to be close to anyone. It is just, just an a damn feeling.

Well in that case, i feel like throwing all of my heart into a dustbin.

I will not ignore my friend over a boy. So i keep it to myself.

Pffft! I hate boy problems.

I keep on reminding myself that i deserve better. One day, when the time is right, that person will come. I will NOT fight for any boy right now.

Everyone is free to do what ever they want.

Some people will say, "Memang lah kita free nak buat apapun tapi penting apa nak kene jaga hati orang".

To someone like that, If you tend to care for EVERYONE'S FEELINGS, one day you will realize how less you love yourself because that EVERYONE don't give a damn about you damn feelings. Honestly! It is better to care for yourself even though people called you selfish. They don't feel your pain. You are suffering the pain BY YOURSELF.

Then they will say, "Kau seorang je yang takde sape nak kisah perasaan. Aku ada je"

One day, that person who 'act like they care', will leave you. As long as he or she is not married to you, the chances being left is always there. Even you marry, you still have the possibility to divorce.

I am not here to encourage break ups or whatever. But i am here to remind you guys that, people DO leave.

As they left, the phase "used to" will hunt you.