I've only been working for 5 weeks and tomorrow will be the 6th week. Of course more coming.
I just don't understand why I feel very heavy and dreadful to be working. Is it the idea of adulting that makes me hate going to work? I mean, people don't bother me in any way that makes me uncomfortable. I was told to do things that I must do, they didn't rush me into anything with a whole lot of pressure. The pressure is there but bearable, I've been in worst situations before.
I started my degree life with this kind of feeling but it doesn't feel this shit after a month. I do feel better and kinda okay.
Or is it because I still didn't have a proper buddy to talk to. No shoulder to turn to whenever I feel blue.
I still don't know.
Am I going to feel like this all the way for a year? This miserable?
Yes, the word is miserable. I feel awful and ungrateful despite knowing some friends are actually in a worst place. No one really forces me or bully me.
I don't want to feel like this.
I need something there to make me feel better. Something secure. A supportive friend. At least, a person that can make me feel, a little happy.
As I'm about to get used to a place, I go to another department. Hurm, at least after 4 months I'll rotate back to the same place. So yeah, maybe I'll find comfort by then. So far, I'm looking forward to March next year because I'll be back to the first department I work in, the place I feel safer and a bit welcome. I feel included for some time.
Pray for me. Pray that I get to finish PRP on time, without too many problems, and avoid any types of conflicts.
No comments:
Post a Comment