Friday, December 28, 2012

Reminder

I can't lie that when i care someone, i will always checking their condition. I will try to know what is going on in their life and what so ever. I cannot stop! I will keep on stalking. Sorry for that but that is me. >blink,blink< So, as you ever that had read about what is going on with me lately, yeah, i start to change. You know when someone is so damn upset he or she will start to find entertainment to cheer up themselves. I pray and watched 2 broke girls again to cheer me up. My parents will never understand me about this stuff. My best friends is busy but i don't blame them. The school is about to open and they all must be ready for that. I try to share with someone that might understand me but most of them give the same advised. Be patient, Allah is testing you, be strong and so many inspirational words. I am so happy that they care about me but actually nothing change. I still feel sad and sorrow. What make me stronger? I remind myself about Allah because i know everything happen for reason. The more He test me, that shows the more He loves me. I also think back, nothing is going to change and the time wouldn't stop, its ticking.

I keep on apologizing to Allah because i am sad with this test. As human i have emotional that i cannot deny. But i also pray so that Allah will give me strength to overcome this test.

When i am sad, i will listen to sad songs and at last i will cry. After crying, a relief came out because my sadness already flow out from me. I do think to cheer me up.

I was conscious if he is sad too. So i stalk him a bit. He seems fine. He already get over it. He always have someone by his side. Not to blame but that shows he is lucky. Kinda jealous of that. What really make me super jealous, he really appreciate his bff so much as he is single. I...i pray for his happiness and i pray for Allah to throw away my jealousy. He deserve better. I am just someone that give him so much burden.

To make myself clear that i am nothing to him, i read his post about me. There are so much hate and truth about me. So, whenever i felt like missing him like so much. I will read that post so that i realize that he don't need me anymore.