Confess

Its been awhile since the last conversation with Larry alone. He went to my house on the weekend and we talked. Funny cause that day, Peter also came to my house.

In the morning, Larry came by and he brought me my favorite cake. And we talked on the porch.
"Hey, i thought you never want to see me again."
"How can I escape from you?"
"Well, you can by skipping the school or move to another town."
"Hahaha!"
"I miss your laugh.. I miss our conversation."
"But you are with Nyna and i never want to screw your relationship."
"Well, we can at least be friends back. You, me and Nyna."
"I don't know. After everything, its kinda weird being around you guys."
"You are our captain in the team,what is weird about it? And you watch 'How I met your Mother', they still hang up even Barney and Ted fight for Robin. They still find their happiness."
"i don't know what to say. How about Nyna, did she knows you are coming here?"
"We planned this. Nyna was so shy to join. She don't want you to feel awkward."
"She is nice..Larry, i got something to ask."
"Go on. Anything."
"Well, why do you want to be my friend in the first place? We don't even go to any class together."
"By that time, i like you and i just want to be near you."
"Are you still interested in Islam?"
"I am still interested. But i Google most of my doubts. I am too afraid to ask you."
"Is Nyna on board if you embrace Islam?"
"She is because FYI she is learning about it too."
"*tears falling down* i am touched! yeah, i miss you guys. You know how alone i felt and how most of the nights i cry in my prayer. I pray for you guys to come to me if we are suppose to be friends."
"We miss you too. So, tomorrow, lunch together?"
"Sure."

And that's how we become friends back. That afternoon after lunch and Zohor prayer, Peter came. We talked for awhile.
"Hey, are you busy?"
"Hey, no im not. What brings you here?"
"Hurm, i need to say something."
"erm, alright. Go on."
"I...er..I..erm...I...kinda..no. I, Peter, (a long inhale and exhale) like you...*face turn red"
"Hurm..(>///<) *sigh i don't know how to response." "Just take your time to think. I may be a Christian but i am interested in Islam. I am sorry if i ruin your weekend but i can't hold it any more." Then he walked away. I was stunned. It took a lot of prayers for me to calm down and make the right decision. Tomorrow is a big day for me. I already promise Ismael to go to school together. "Serena, is loving a girl is a sin?" "No, liking a person is natural. Allah never get mad about it. It will be a sin if you like that girl because of your desire towards her. If you like someone, pray for it. Pray that she is the one. You don't have to admit your feelings to her." "If i want to be with her and take her as my girlfriend?" "If you want to marry her, its not a problem but be careful. It can be a sin. Everything is up to your purpose and your heart." "Thanks Serena. Mohd and his family are really helpful." "Its my responsible and i am honor to do it." We talked and discuss. By that time, i forgot all of my problem and having a good time. Its like reminding myself what i had forgot and what i should be careful of. I am glad i meet him. As we reach school, i go to my locker and i see Peter is standing and he is staring at me. I say goodbye to Ismael and continue my steps to the locker. I act normal and i ignore Peter. I want to talk about it but i think it is not a suitable time. Then he give me a note saying, if you want to talk, just name the place and time, i will be there. I will not rush you with your answers. Take your time. I can't focus for the whole day. I am being so reckless in my class. I become so dreamy and i don't understand a subject or a word the teachers said. I keep on thinking about Peter. I want to make the best decision. I don't want to regret with my own words and whine up about it after a long time. During lunch, Larry and Nyna realize that i had been dreaming. Nyna pop the silent. "Serena, no offence but you seems like you had a big problem. Mind if you share." "Well, after lunch yesterday, Peter came to my house and he confess his feelings to me. I am stunned and i don't know if i am actually happy about it or empty." "Hurm, that's a tough one. I think, you should be honest to yourself." -L "I know and i am trying too. It's not easy." "Do you like this guy?"-N "Well, kinda. Not so much but his face is really cute and i hate to admit it but he is actually nice." "Hurm, that's hard. But do you want to be his girlfriend?"-N "I hate relationships. I just prefer as a nice friend." "So, i think you got your answer. When are you going to tell him?"-L "Today, after school." "Have you told him about the meeting?"-L "Not yet. But after this is Chemistry class so i will meet him." "Good luck. We got to rush. Sorry. Bye! See you again." -L n N "Thanks. Bye.." So, talking to them makes me realize about what i want and how to tell him about it. I give him the note of the location. I am ready to talk about it. After school... "Hey serena! Sorry for being late." "Its fine." "Before you say anything, i promise that i will not make things between us awkward and i can act like it don't happen if you say no." "It's nice of you to say that. So, as i was saying. i like you as friend. i would love to have anything special with you but i am not ready to be in any relationship now. It is not because you are a Christian or your egos but i think its for the best. Being with me will be a lot challenging that you think. We can't hold hands or kiss or having sex (urgh) or any other couples do. We can date but not at night. We can meet but not in a quiet place.We.." "Serena, stop.. I had done research about a Moslem girl and i know all about it. And i can see hoe nerves you were by the time i confess. I can wait for you. I just want you to know that i like you because of you being yourself. Its up to you about the relationship and stuff like that. If you want me to meet your family, its fine, i will meet them. I will win you from that Asian boy. I will win you because i want someone like you forever by my side." "How can i trust you?" "I keep my words. Its up to you to either trust me or not but i take your words as a green light for me to know you more in a person." "i am speechless." "Let's just go home, ok. Clear your mind. I don't want you to feel like i am a burden. And i don't like to see you being dreamy in your classes. Even its cute." "(>///<)"

He walks me home. We don't talk. For a second, i feel like i can really trust him. I think, i like this guy too but i am too afraid to admit it.

That night, we text and suddenly an unknown number call. I answer it.
"hello, who is this?"
"hello, its dylan."
"Where did you get this number?"
"I got it from a guy name Peter. He simply gave it too me. Who is this?"
"I must go."

That night i cried and i stop replying any Peter's text and he call nut i never answer. How stupid i am for trusting him??