New chapter of life

Assalamualaykum..Today i got some update about my life. Tomorrow Insha Allah I will continue with The Drama. So, as i was saying, remember about a boy i told earlier. About my cousin and the weird relationship. Well, after 2 day, he text me saying he miss me and hope i miss him too. He still calling me dear. And i said that, just call me, my name no more dear.

He said that he want things as it use to be and he will wait until i am ready. I said that i need to think. He just give like, some minutes to think. He rush me with my answer. Then i said i can't be with him because it will cost my freedom. But he still want me, and he asked why it cost my freedom? i said, commitment. He said i don't have to give any commitment but just spend time talking to him.

Then he asked me is i still like him. It took a long time for me to answer that question but i end up saying no. Being with him is so confusing! For now, my heart is empty and i don't have anyone to fill on. I don't want too. I just wanna be free and like who ever i want or when ever i want. If i agree being with him, i am scare if i am the one ending the relationship. I am scare if i get bored with him.

Its better for him to hurt now then after years or months with me.

And he is the one ending up in the first place, why i must act like nothing happen and be like how it used to be? I wanted that before but he rush me into a serious relationship. Now he want things as it use to be. I did said that we are only friendly cousin. Nothing special. I can't handle any more relationship stuff. I am sick and tired of it!

Only Allah and Rasulullah and my family and friends deserve my love.

I care about him but that does not mean i want to be with him. We are too young to think about having a life together in the future.

The moral of the story, be careful with any guy that you have feelings. Maybe you like them now but that does not mean you love them. Act honest and be honest. For the sake of your future!

For that, Assalamualaykum.