New Chapter

Assalamualaykum, HI!

I finally got my own laptop. It is my family tradition. We would receive our own as we got accepted into degree level.

Yes, i finally got into unikl for bachelor of pharmacy program.

I registered last Friday and I actually attended the evening class.

To be honest, it is like one of the proudest thing i had done for awhile.

Can you imagine losing hope? Can you imagine finally accept that you are worthless and you kinda good for nothing for your family. Alhamdulillah, finally something.

I almost lost hope. I already planned ahead my journey as 19 years old teen that got nothing right until the day i finally get accepted into anywhere.

Wednesday, someone called me asking me if I had entered anywhere and so on. To be honest, I thought it was just another person who wanted me to enter another private collage. A few minutes after that, I i got a phone call from unikl themselves asking me about my personal information.

The next morning, i was awake by a phone call saying I got accepted into unikl for bpham program. I took me awhile to finally digest the information. I was holding myself from crying but then, I told most people that I finally got it!

Then, my bff called, asking about it, well, i finally burst into tears of course. I just accepted myself for everything and i just declare 2017 one of my dark days.

I registered and at first, everything seems okay. Then, well, when it is something that i never planned or ready, i faced some problems.

For me, i call it as 'stress'.

I dont have my notes. I dont even know how much i had missed. What if people cant accept me? Things like that.

Monday morning, I woke up and tried my best to be calm but i ended up vomiting. Not the sick vomit, the nervous vomit where nothing came out.

To be honest, I am still not over it.

My parents dont want me to stay at the provided hostel, so i would drive from home every morning. At first, everything was going well. Then, after a very long day of class, it is indeed tiring to drive back home. It is just a 30 minutes drive but still, very tiring.

The subjects? Very scary.

Most of the lecturers are good, kind and helpful. Then, this scary Mr S, he ever targeted me in my first class with him. At least he acknowledge the new student i guess.

Friends are okay but i bet i am that annoying bug that try so hard to mix around. Most of them, i just met so they dont know much about me. I wanted to be myself, it is getting easier from time to time but kinda, you can say, too fast. I know that i should just relax and go with the flow, things are not making any easy any time. Yet, it is getting harder.

I think, one more thing is, my class representative. LOL

He is super kind. At first, he was annoying because he didnt clarify some things about notes that i should print myself. Then, after sometime, he actually helped me a lot lately. I guess he is trying to be friendly as a leader. Overall, he is a decent person.

I do have a lot in mind, but i cant simply express it due to lack of information and my English is rusty. I cant totally describe it as how real it should feel. Honestly, it is not fun to write or say things that we cannot evaluate properly. It will not touch any soul.

I guess, thats all for now! :)