Forgiveness

Assalamualaykum~

So, i had told you about some shits that had happen. It appears that most people want ME to talk about it. What they imagine is, a little talk then shack hands and smile then walk to the sunlight. People, wake up! It hurts! You guys know about it but you don't feel how hurt it is. Its easy to say, forget it and forgive them or i know it hurts but i think its better for to give up first. Miss, I am the ONE know how hurt it is and no, i am not gonna be the one asking for forgiveness cause its not my fault.

But as i think about it, a take the second option. Forgiving. They say:





I can be strong but i am not brave enough to push away my egos and i will be happy as i forget. IF i CAN FORGET. But i still gonna be happy cause i live to move on not stuck in a shit moment and keep on hiding under the blanket with tears. I am strong!

She said about making things right. Well, good luck with that cause i am not gonna make it easy for you. If you want our friendship like how we used to, you will find it hard but if not, you fine it easy when you hear that i accept your apologize and my ought-to-be-smiling and my 'true-words' saying we're cool.

Rasulullah forgive people. Allah also do the same, He is the Mighty of Forgiving. Me? A humble and lots of sin of Allah's slave, i have no power or anything accept, the option either forgive or not. I forgive.

I am sorry for the long time of drama. I am being emotional all the time because it hurts me to know the truth from someone else and to realize the lies that you said. To see that actually you take for granted about all of this. Take my feelings as a small deal. Saying that its actually a small issue.

You don't know what i had gone through. You can say you know or you understand just to comfort me but actually you're not. Now, you don't have to do it any more. I don't know if i can trust you any more. If i can trust anyone.

Remember the old days. When i am the one trying to find you and tell you my updates. When you are just too busy with your works and never mind so much about us. When you tell me your problems and all the girls talk. I think you should forget all of that cause, i think its not gonna happen again. You are still my friend but not my bestie anymore i guess. Cause you actually never care much about me.

You decide to hide from me rather then telling me the truth.. How can a person called as best buddy do to her own buddy like that. Maybe i dont deserve the title your best buddy. I am not jealous looking you happy with other people but i am sad looking you being more closer to them and in the same time, going further away from me. Not because i want to, i try to keep in touch but you just slip away. Remember how i tried to always walk together and hang out but you always have other things to do. Remember i went to your dorm but you decided to go inside because of that senior rather than stay and talked. Maybe you don't see that cause you always have someone beside you. Someone who always understand you. Someone always wanna be your friend. After all this shits, i think you will never care about me like you use to. I mean when do you care? Do you ever care, i guess so. Thanks for 'the care'.

I dont want to break any friendship or any ukhuwah but i think being less closer to you is the best. Makes me less hurt and makes you less worry about how hurt i am. That's fair. I can live my life so can you. Not being with me is not a problem to you.

Everyone has their own problems and conflicts with other people. Its up to them either wanna talk about it or not. I prefer express it with writing. Its a good thing.

Now i can move on and live my life. I hope you understand. I am sorry. I hope you read this.

Assalamualaykum.